(BELLE and ADAM are in bed.)
ADAM: Hey Belle?
ADAM: This is a little awkward.
BELLE: Is it about the fact that we need to buy all new utensils now?
ADAM: Uh, no.
BELLE: Didn’t you have forks before that witch showed up? Where did all the non-enchanted forks go?
ADAM: No, uh, I--I wanted to talk about how you haven’t seemed that...into me.
ADAM: Since, you know, I was--cured.
ADAM: Is everything--okay?
BELLE: Well, gosh, how do I put this?
ADAM: Babe, you can talk to me. Whatever you say, I’ll still love you. No matter what.
BELLE: I liked you better when you were the Beast.
BELLE: You were so hot.
ADAM: Honey, I was a dog-man.
BELLE: I know.
ADAM: I was like...half-bear.
BELLE: I know!
ADAM: You liked that?
BELLE: I loved that!
ADAM: I thought you fell in love with me for my personality.
BELLE: Personality? We said, like, two words to each other, then we waltzed, and then you got turned back into--(With barely hidden disgust.)--this.
ADAM: Don’t say it like that!
BELLE: I just don’t know why I learned to love you as a beast and then they turned you into a human. That would be like falling in love with a blonde and then their hair magically turns brown.
ADAM: You don’t fall in love with someone for their hair.
BELLE: Maybe YOU don’t.
ADAM: Now what are we supposed to do?
BELLE: Well--can you grow a beard/
ADAM: Not really?
BELLE: A mustache?
BELLE: Stubble? Anything? Meet me halfway here.
ADAM: Maybe you could just learn to love me like this?
BELLE: Or maybe I could move into the library and we just see each other on holidays?
ADAM: Do you realize how crazy you sound?
BELLE: Fine, every other weekend, but no more waltzing, you’re no good at leading.
BELLE: You were a much better dancer when you were eight feet tall and had a snout.
BELLE: God, I miss that snout.
ADAM: Would you listen to yourself?
BELLE: You know, if you had just ASKED me before you turned back--
ADAM: I thought you’d be thrilled.
BELLE: Nobody ever asks a woman what she wants.
ADAM: When we first met, I scared the hell out of you.
BELLE: That wasn’t fear, you bland pile of yogurt, that was excitement! You were so exciting!
ADAM: I was a monster.
BELLE: First of all, you’re being very judgmental.
ADAM: You never--
BELLE: And second of all, maybe I like monsters.
ADAM: Well then maybe you should have married Gaston.
BELLE: God, he was so tall.
ADAM: I’m tall!
BELLE: You’re not THAT tall.
ADAM: Well, I’m still a prince.
BELLE: That’s true. You are.
ADAM: And I am who I am, so you’ll just have to get used to it.
ADAM: What do you mean ‘Maybe?’
BELLE: Okay, so don’t be mad--
ADAM: What did you do?
BELLE: I invited a gypsy over for breakfast tomorrow.
ADAM: Why would you do that?
BELLE: So you can kick her out.
ADAM: Why would I--ohmygodno!
BELLE: Come on!
ADAM: I am not going back to being a waltzing rug!
BELLE: Maybe she’ll turn you into something even better this time. Like a lizard! Imagine if you were a lizard!
ADAM: That would be horrible!
BELLE: No, it wouldn’t! Lizards are very in right now.
ADAM: I am not kicking that woman out and I am not turning into a creature and you are not moving into the library and if you keep this up, I’m not ordering any new forks!
BELLE: I just realized--this means we have to eat breakfast with a gypsy.
End of Play