Thursday, April 2, 2015

Lindsey the Girl Backstage

Hey Charlotte, could you do me a favor?
Your stuff is kind of all over the dressing room area
Like, specifically, it's all over my part of the dressing room area
So if you could just be aware of that
And, like, you know, respect the sacred space I prepare in
That would be awesome

Oh my God, I'm such a bitch, I know, I'm sorry
Do you hate me?
If you hate me, that's cool
I just thought I'd bring it up to you
In case you didn't realize it

Oh my God, you're the best
I'm the worst
Thank you so much
Oh, don't forget this picture of your dead grandmother
It was touching my iced latte

Chris?  Heyyyyy Chris

I don't know if you realize it
But you've been sort of kind of stepping on my line in that last scene a little bit

I know you're supposed to cut me off
But you're supposed to cut me off after the word 'never'
And not the word 'would'
So, like, I go 'I would never'
And you jump on the space right after 'never'
But you still need to let me say 'never'
And lately, you've been jumping right on 'would'
And I'm just getting really concerned that, like, eventually,
I'm not going to have a line at all
And it's, like, kind of a crucial line
So if you could just take a look at that
I'd really appreciate it

Oh my God, you're amazing in the show by the way
I wish I could just sit offstage and watch you
But if I don't do my yoga poses before every entrance
My energy's all off and the audience totally picks up on it

Love you though!

Katie, can you just take a second before you run on to bow
Because I'm bowing right before you
And I've been noticing that the audience has been taking a few extra seconds
To show their appreciation for me
And so I would appreciate you
Just respecting that bond that's developed there
And not break it apart so quickly, okay?

Thank you so much
We're just doing really sacred work, you know?
And I just want to honor that

Love you so much
Wish I could adopt you
But I live with an abusive aunt, so--

Hey Scott?

I just wanted to let you know that you're pronouncing the word 'paella' wrong
I mean, you'd be saying it correctly if you were just, you know, saying it
But your character is from England, right?
Okay, so, I mean, I've never been to England
And I really don't know anything about the country or the accents
But I have a sneaking suspicion
That the part of the country you're from
Would pronounce the word with an unnecessary 'o' sound
So, that might be something to consider?
Just a thought?

I just really want this entire show to be a collaboration between all of us
So, like, I want to feel free to give you some notes about your performance
And please, please, please if you have any notes on mine
Be sure to write them down and put them in the little box in front of my mirror marked 'Negative Energy'
And after I'm done praying over them
I'll look at them and try and decide if I'm going to report you to the stage manager, okay?

Thanks so much
Love you
Please don't chew your gum so loudly
You're the best!

Well, I guess it's time to go back out onstage
The journey begins again, right?

You guys are awesome
You're like my family
In the sense that I feel like I can say anything to you
And you're going to love me anyway
Because we're stuck together for the next eight weeks
Until you move to Florida and forget to tell me

Love you all!

...And please don't take any of my hangers--thanks!