This Will Be Our Freshman Year

This will be our freshman year

When we go in the wrong classroom

And meet people for the first time

Delighted and frustrated

At how little we know

About everything

We will throw ourselves into mistakes

Wrap our arms around the necks of them

Kiss them on both cheeks

And declare ourselves to them

‘Why hello there!

We are the Freshman

We make Mistakes’

We look forward to trying things

Anything’s and everything’s

Traveling to places we shouldn’t go

Peering into places that are off-limits

Trying to jump the line

So we can see what it’s like

To be older, wiser, further along

Arriving late only to have someone say

Well that’s okay

You’re freshmen

We will carry too many books

Not knowing how to condense

How to organize and re-organize

Select, edit, delegate

Appoint, accommodate, balance

Juggle, jiggle, multi-task

We don’t want to though

We want it all

All the books

All the notebooks

The paper, the pencils

The journals we’ll never write it

The organizers we’ll never use

The calendars filled with boxes

With absolutely nothing in them

Surrounding us

Giant piles on our desks

With us wondering if this will keep out

Or scary away

The people who would pile on

Even more

Paper is a funny thing

On paper our lives look like one thing

And in reality they are—

Something else entirely

We will kiss anyone

Without regard

To whether or not

We should be kissing them

Descriptions and qualifiers

That should result in determinations

About who and who not to love

Will be cast aside

In favor of

--Spontaneity

After all

It’s just a kiss

This will be the year we act like people out of poetry

Out of song lyrics

Out of short stories written by people

Who were freshmen once

And would love to be freshmen again

We will not let this time slip by

We will not fail to be in our moments

Fully realized

Non-abbreviated

Stretching ourselves too thin

To cover and collect

All the things

We might forget

We will take on too much

We will attend every event

Every birthday, every just-for-the-heck-of-it gathering

And get-together

We will lose touch with no one

We will be the best friends

The best sons and daughters

The best students

The extra-curricular extraordinaires

The mold-breaking models

The perfect people

We will be perfect

We will high five and parade around

And flaunt and brandish and flourish

Showcase, display, broadcast, expose too much

Feel—too much

Cry at will

Lose all limits

Laugh at everything

Loud laughter

That shakes our entire bodies

And annoys everyone around us

Who look and say—

Ugh, freshmen

And then…

One night…

We will stay up too late

Flying by deadlines

Not committing

Not sure which way we’re going

Not trusting

The certainty we were so certain of

One or two of us will drop

Off

Out

Of sight

We’ll lose a few

Along the way

And remember—

Oh yes

This is, like other things,

A journey

And some simply will not

Make it

Four years from now

We will see ourselves differently

The people we are now

Being judged by

The people we will become

Why did I do that, say that, wear that

Talk that way, use that word, eat so much

Tell stupid jokes, stay up so late

Not

Get

Started

Sooner

Why was I friends with him, her, them

Those other people

Who were just like me

But that’s ahead of us

That’s not today

Today, you see

Is a starting day

We’ll keep the regret

Four years

At bay

Today I met you

And shook your hand

And felt good knowing

That this will be

Our freshman year

For even fourteen years past fourteen

You can start something

You can start out

You can begin

This is who I am now

Who knows who I’ll become?

When you’re younger you just want to know what’s going to happen

How it’s going to end

But when you’re older you want to know that it isn’t over yet

That you still have a chance

To start over

To begin again

And say—

Who knows?

This might be

My freshman year