You Wouldn't Let Me Go

See she thinks

It’s all about

Being special

But I don’t think that

I don’t think that’s

What you’re looking for

I don’t think that one bit

I get all kinds of October

Thinking about you

Thinking about…

The time in October

--You remember?

I wasn’t much older

Than I needed to be

But I was still…

Something about the way

You stood behind me

And I was like—

I hope he puts his hands

On my shoulders

And then you did

I thought it was telepathy after that

Or some kind of connection

But I knew one thing

Above all else

Just like when you pray

I knew you wouldn’t let me go

‘Bout time you showed up again

I don’t need to know

Where you’ve been

Nothing matters

But what you’ve been waiting for

When it comes to you

I put on my favorite dress

I left everything open

But the screen door

And I sat myself down

Right on this bed

The world’s gonna end one day

And when it does

You gotta give a lot of thought

To where you wanna be

When the comets are crashing

And the shit’s blowing up

This here

You taking one step

After another

This, to me

Is the end of the world

But if you notice

If you take a good look

I’m smiling

And I—

I put new sheets on the bed

Got a new blanket

I opened the windows

To let all the sounds in

Of the cars from the highway

And the ocean

Water’s an hour away

And I can still hear the waves

Just like no matter how far you ran from me

I could hear you

Taking steps

Back towards me

I just didn’t know

How many steps

It was going to take

I thought about running sometimes too

But the thought of you was more you

Than you are

Standing here

In front of me

And you wouldn’t let me go

I bet you left her with so much

In her heart

For you

I feel bad about that

But I can’t rectify it

Not with the world ending

And the bed ready for us

Took me forever

To make up this bed

She might love you

But she can’t get you

To touch her shoulders

When you’re not evening

Thinking about it

There’s ways for two people to love each other

That go past anniversary cards

And candlelit dinners

There’s a pull and a prayer

Between my heart and yours

That God put there

And God don’t want it gone

People telling me about you getting marri—

Marriage is something

A man invented

It ain’t got nothing to do

With God

What’s God is you coming up those steps

Knowing

From the day you were born

That you would

That you would get to the top
And see me

On this bed waiting for you

So you can take off that wedding ring

Because she married you

Knowing there was never going to be

Two of your feet in any home

That the two of you

Made for yourselves

She couldn’t look at you

And think what I think

It might have been easy

To do it to her

But when it comes to me

Jesus, baby—

You wouldn’t let me go

Waking Up To It

We have to really have a conversation
In this country
About the differences

The sexual differences

Between men and women

Not just how men and women
Perceive sex
And how they're raised
In regards to sex
But just biologically
How--biologically
We respond to sex
And that's
That's
As a RESULT
Of perception
And environment

But it affects us
Biologically

Okay, so--

The best--

Well, not the best

But the example I can give you is--

I was in this class
This college class
On sexuality
And the professor asked us a question
And had us write down our answer
On a piece of paper
So it was anonymous
The responses

And the question was--

How would you feel
If your partner
Husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend
Had sex with you
While you were sleeping

The professor wanted to know
If our response to that
Would be positive or negative

So, you know, she could get a one word answer
From each of us about it

Now, to me
I would think
To a lot of people
That's rape

Forget about the--the--the--

Relationship

The way you know each other
Even if you're married

Sex with someone
Who hasn't given you consent
Because they're sleeping
Because they're, um, you know, uh
Basically unconscious
Then you're committing rape

And how could anybody
Feel differently about that?

But think about the question

See, this is the interesting part

The question isn't about
Whether or not it's rape

It's about how you--personally
Would feel
If someone had sex with you
While you were in a position
To not give consent

And the professor collected the answers
And, uh, I could see that she was--

She looked at the results
And said--

'You know, I would never typically do this
But--can I reveal the results?'

Like, the overall results
From the whole class

And everybody was like--

Well, she must have a reason
So--sure

So she told us

That with the exception of two girls
Every girl in the class
Said they would have a negative response
To someone having sex--uh, raping them
While they were sleeping

And that every boy in the class
Would have a positive response to that

Can you fucking believe that?

Every
Single
Boy

Would be totally cool
With having their partner
This other person
Rape them

So, uh, I mean--this is one class

This is just--

It was a class of about sixty people
And it was pretty evenly split
So let's say thirty boys maybe
But still

Thirty guys

All okay

With being raped

Having a--a--positive reaction
To being raped

So we had a discussion about it
The results
Knowing what we--

And obviously
We didn't know
What two girls also said 'Positive'
But--

The boys were so adament
And here's the thing--

They weren't adament
That the girls should feel differently
Which was a relief, honestly

But the girls
We were trying to get them to understand
That regardless of how they felt about it
It was still rape
And that they shouldn't feel okay with it
Because obviously--

I mean, if they think it's a positive thing
Of course they're going to think it be okay
To do it some day right?

But I mean, a lot of these guys
Were totally understanding of consent
And saying that they would never do that
To a girl
While she was sleeping
But that if it happened to them
They would find it hot
And that we shouldn't shame them for that
Because isn't that sort of like slut-shaming
And I mean, they're not wrong, right?

I mean--

Ugh, it's so frustrating

Because at some point
You do have to talk about stuff like
Uh, uh--girls who are into sort of--

Aggressive
Consensual
Sexual activity
That involves them being--

Uh, dominated

And we have to be okay with that

We can't say 'That's not okay'

As long as there's consent, but--

Here are guys
Who are like--

Here's a situation where consent can't be given
And the boys are saying--

Yeah, bring it on
I'd love that
That'd be hot

And that's when I understood
That there is just a big difference
Between the way
Men and women
Especially young men
View sex
And experience sex
And if we don't talk about that

If we don't get that out in the open

You're going to have these malicious guys
Who are out there
These monsters
These rapists
Really out there meaning to do harm

But you're also going to have these boys
Who--who--who think--

Who are using their own personal judgment system
To determine whether or not their sexual actions
Are acceptable

And that is just a totally different system
That is so individual
So personal
And because we don't want to talk about sex--

Not in a real way
Not in an effective way
Just, strictly, in a--a--

In a sexy way, you know

But not in a way
That really gets into it
And how it's so personal

And we need to do that
Because if we just say--

Just treat people
The way you want to be treated, I mean--

The golden rule
Does not apply here

This is sex we're talking about

We all want different things
And what we want
What would turn us on
Could be someone else's worst fucking nightmare

And when it comes to men and women
There is a gap
There is a wide gap

Let's be real about this--

Maybe the reason guys would be okay
Having a woman rape them
Is because they haven't had to live with that fear of rape
Their entire lives

So they've been able to, uh, fetishize it
Make it into a kink of theirs
And if that isn't fucking privilege, oh my god

Oh my god

I sat there
And listened to all these men
Talk about how they would consent to being raped

Isn't that a--a--

What is that?

Consent to rape

Do you believe that?

I mean, do you fucking believe that?

And Now I'm Over Here and You're Over There

It’s really not a mystery

You just wound up over there

And we gotta be, uh

You know

We’d be on the same side

Of every room

And then one day

You’re an inch

Then a mile

Then you’re just gone

And I’m looking around like--

Boy, I must’ve messed up, right?

How’d it all go like the ocean

Where it takes you away

From where you want to be

You’re over there

And I’m over here

And I can see you

For awhile

I couldn’t even do that

But now, yeah

I can see you

You’re looking off to the side

Trying to catch my attention

And it’s, uh--

It’s been ten years

You know?

Ten damn years

And we’re doing this--

You trying to catch

My attention?

Baby, I’m too old for that

I’m just--

I mean, I don’t know

If I’m too old

Or too tired

But I’m one of ‘em

I’m…

I’m one of ‘em

And I’ll tell you one thing

I’m not, ha

I’m not going over there

And I know you well enough to know

You’re not coming over here

So, uh, we got a problem, right?

Too stubborn people

Keep everything between them

And nothing next to ‘em

Certainly not each other

You’ve had a space for me

Next to you

Since I’ve known you

And I’ve had my whole life cleared out

So it was nothing but space and space and space

Waiting for you to come along

And fill it up for me

But one of us

Has to budge, right?

And, uh, whether it’s right or wrong

I’m telling you

I can’t

I can’t go over there

Not after--

Ten years, you know?

No

I can’t

Not anymore

I love you like nobody’s ever…

And now I’m over here and you’re there

Stuck in place

With all this bullshit music playing

And people dancing

And eyes going this way and that

Because the minute one of us sees each other

We’re going to go running

Right past all these other folks

And that’s scary, isn’t it?

You’re over there

And I’m right here

Tapping my toe

Waiting for you

To stop looking at nothing

And start looking at me

Like I’ve been asking you to for…

I guess none of this

Is going to get…

I just want to know

I just want to know

While you sit there

I want to know

Where we go

From here