When you were a kid
Every night
I’d sit by your bed
And you’d say—
‘I’m not going to sleep’
And I’d say ‘Okay’
And we’d sit there
The two of us
And I’d sing to you
And you’d say—
‘Stop, stop’
Because I have
The worst voice
In the whole world
And I’d say—
‘I’ll stop when you go to sleep’
And you’d groan
And roll over
And I’d keep singing
I’d sing anything—
Motown
Showtunes
Italian art songs
Whatever I could think of
And you’d say—
‘Dad, you’re going to run out of songs’
And I’d say—
‘Not until you fall asleep’
And this would go on and on
And your mother would be in the next room
Yelling at me
To leave you alone
Because eventually you’d get tired
And pass out
No matter what
She wanted me to turn off the lights
And close the door
And leave you by yourself
But I…
You know, I couldn’t do that
Because that’s what my dad used to do to me
He’d leave me alone all the time
And I didn’t like it
I remember laying in bed
Wishing I had a dad like Joey Rio’s Dad
My best friend in third grade
Was named Joey Rio
And he used to tell us
That his Dad sung to him every night
And wasn’t that so embarrassing?
And we’d all go—
‘Yeah, Joey, yeah’
But secretly?
I wanted a Dad like that
Joey Rio became a doctor
And I didn’t
And I always thought
That was because
His Dad sang to him
And mine used to turn out the lights
And go drinking down the street
With Uncle Pat and Uncle Tim and Uncle This-and-That
You never saw so many uncles
I had a thousand of ‘em
And they’d all be in the living room
At three in the morning
Shouting and swearing at each other
And if I opened my bedroom door
Even a crack
To ask them to be quiet
Or just to see what they were doing
My father would holler at me
With this voice
That sounded like it was coming
Straight out of the ocean
And if I didn’t close that door right away
Well…
So I didn’t sleep much
When I was kid
And the only time I could get to sleep
Was when I’d put ‘Pet Sounds’ on
And if put the record player right by my bed
Sometimes I could fall asleep
Pretending it was Joey Rio’s Dad singing to me
Instead of Brian Wilson
So I grew up
Because what else could I do?
And I had you
And I had you
And every night
You’d say ‘I’m not going to sleep’
And I’d say ‘Okay’
Because I wasn’t going to argue with you
And I was used to not sleeping
I had a lot of practice at it
So I figured I could stay up all night with you
If I had to
Didn’t bother me
Didn’t bother me at all
But I’d sing and sing
And you’d force yourself to stay awake
And your mother would swear at me
From the next room
And that was our night
Every night
But then…
Your eyes would start to close
And I’d hear your breathing get a little slower
And you’d ask me for my hand
Even though your hand was so small
It would only fit around one of my fingers
Then I’d sing your favorite song
And that would be the last thing you’d hear
Before you went to sleep
And after you were asleep
I’d say—
‘I’ll be here when you wake up’
And I always was
Because you were all there was
And you know,
The thing about being a parent is—
You know that one day
Your kid isn’t going to need you
To help her fall asleep anymore
And one day
She’s going to leave you
And you keep on being you
And you wake up
And you live a day here
And a day there
And you go to sleep
But life—
It’s not the same, you know?
Until one day
Your kid brings home
Her own kid
And the kid’s crying
And won’t go to sleep
And your daughter
She says to you—
‘Dad, He won’t go to sleep’
And you say—
‘Okay’
And you tell her
About when she was a kid
And she wouldn’t go to sleep
And then you sing your grandson
His Mom’s favorite song
And you think—
This must be what that song’s about
All those years singing it
And you think—
This must be it
