Play God Only Knows

When you were a kid

Every night

I’d sit by your bed

And you’d say—

‘I’m not going to sleep’

And I’d say ‘Okay’

And we’d sit there

The two of us

And I’d sing to you

And you’d say—

‘Stop, stop’

Because I have

The worst voice

In the whole world

And I’d say—

‘I’ll stop when you go to sleep’

And you’d groan

And roll over

And I’d keep singing

I’d sing anything—

Motown

Showtunes

Italian art songs

Whatever I could think of

And you’d say—

‘Dad, you’re going to run out of songs’

And I’d say—

‘Not until you fall asleep’

And this would go on and on

And your mother would be in the next room

Yelling at me

To leave you alone

Because eventually you’d get tired

And pass out

No matter what

She wanted me to turn off the lights

And close the door

And leave you by yourself

But I…

You know, I couldn’t do that

Because that’s what my dad used to do to me

He’d leave me alone all the time

And I didn’t like it

I remember laying in bed

Wishing I had a dad like Joey Rio’s Dad

My best friend in third grade

Was named Joey Rio

And he used to tell us

That his Dad sung to him every night

And wasn’t that so embarrassing?

And we’d all go—

‘Yeah, Joey, yeah’

But secretly?

I wanted a Dad like that

Joey Rio became a doctor

And I didn’t

And I always thought

That was because

His Dad sang to him

And mine used to turn out the lights

And go drinking down the street

With Uncle Pat and Uncle Tim and Uncle This-and-That

You never saw so many uncles

I had a thousand of ‘em

And they’d all be in the living room

At three in the morning

Shouting and swearing at each other

And if I opened my bedroom door

Even a crack

To ask them to be quiet

Or just to see what they were doing

My father would holler at me

With this voice

That sounded like it was coming

Straight out of the ocean

And if I didn’t close that door right away

Well…

So I didn’t sleep much

When I was kid

And the only time I could get to sleep

Was when I’d put ‘Pet Sounds’ on

And if put the record player right by my bed

Sometimes I could fall asleep

Pretending it was Joey Rio’s Dad singing to me

Instead of Brian Wilson

So I grew up

Because what else could I do?

And I had you

And every night

You’d say ‘I’m not going to sleep’

And I’d say ‘Okay’

Because I wasn’t going to argue with you

And I was used to not sleeping

I had a lot of practice at it

So I figured I could stay up all night with you

If I had to

Didn’t bother me

Didn’t bother me at all

But I’d sing and sing

And you’d force yourself to stay awake

And your mother would swear at me

From the next room

And that was our night

Every night

But then…

Your eyes would start to close

And I’d hear your breathing get a little slower

And you’d ask me for my hand

Even though your hand was so small

It would only fit around one of my fingers

Then I’d sing your favorite song

And that would be the last thing you’d hear

Before you went to sleep

And after you were asleep

I’d say—

‘I’ll be here when you wake up’

And I always was

Because you were all there was

And you know,

The thing about being a parent is—

You know that one day

Your kid isn’t going to need you

To help her fall asleep anymore

And one day

She’s going to leave you

And you keep on being you

And you wake up

And you live a day here

And a day there

And you go to sleep

But life—

It’s not the same, you know?

Until one day

Your kid brings home

Her own kid

And the kid’s crying

And won’t go to sleep

And your daughter

She says to you—

‘Dad, He won’t go to sleep’

And you say—

‘Okay’

And you tell her

About when she was a kid

And she wouldn’t go to sleep

And then you sing your grandson

His Mom’s favorite song

And you think—

This must be what that song’s about

All those years singing it

And you think—

This must be it