We Might Be Heroes: Friends

(RHONDA, JO, and MISSY are all sitting at a kitchen table.  JO is reading a magazine.)

RHONDA:  I think we need to turn her in.

JO:  I agree.

MISSY:  She’s not a rabid dog.  She’s our friend.

RHONDA:  Our neighbor.

MISSY:  And our friend.

RHONDA:  Your friend.  I don’t even like her.  And now that she’s a mutant—

MISSY:  You know, you sound like one of those villains from the X-Men movies.

RHONDA:  Jo, what do you think?

JO:  Throw her in the moat.

MISSY:  What?

RHONDA:  What Jo’s saying is—she’s been hiding a secret from us, and now she wants our protection, and I say, Screw that.

JO:  Screw that.

RHONDA:  Exactly.

MISSY:  She can’t even really do anything.

RHONDA:  Missy, please.  She’s Doctor Freeze.

MISSY:  It’s called Mr. Freeze, and she can’t even freeze that much.  The most I ever saw her freeze was this cooler we took to the beach one time, and that was very helpful.

RHONDA:  You’re blinded by your affection for her.

MISSY:  So what?  Maybe I am.  At least I’m a compassionate and decent person.  You want to burn her at the stake.

RHONDA:  No, I don’t!

JO:  Throw her in the moat.

MISSY:  Jesus, Jo, where we gonna find a moat?

RHONDA:  I want to turn her over to the government so that they can help her.

MISSY:  Help her how?  By turning her into a science project?

RHONDA:  You’re such a conspiracy theorist, Missy.  You watch too much Investigation Discovery.

MISSY:  Was I right about the aliens?

RHONDA:  Oh, come on.

MISSY:  Jo, was I right about the aliens?

JO:  She was right about the aliens.

MISSY:  Thank you.  Thaaaaaaaaaaaank you.

RHONDA:  You’re scared of aliens but you’re not scared of the human popsicle next door?

MISSY:  I’m not scared of her, because she’s my friend.

RHONDA:  She’s nobody’s friend.  She’s just biding her time until she can take over the world.

MISSY:  Why would she want to take over the world when the aliens are going to destroy it anyway?

RHONDA:  These aliens might end up being nice people.

MISSY:  Don’t you go defending the aliens now!

RHONDA:  I got no beef with aliens.

MISSY:  But you got beef with Gina?

RHONDA:  The aliens never lied to me!

JO:  ET phone home.

RHONDA:  Thank you!  ET was a nice alien.  Find me an example of a nice person who could turn their friends into ice cream if they wanted to.

MISSY:  It’s nothing, Rhonda.  It’s like a—a—a parlor trick.

RHONDA:  Yeah, well she ain’t comin’ in my parlor.

MISSY:  Nobody wants to go in your parlor.

RHONDA:  What the hell is that supposed to mean?

MISSY:  Nothing, I’m just sayin’.

RHONDA:  You sayin’ I got a dirty parlor?

MISSY:  I’m sayin’ your parlor don’t interest me.

RHONDA:  You would love to sit in my parlor.

MISSY:  I’d rather sit on a bed of nails than sit in your parlor.

RHONDA:  Oh, you’re gonna get it, Missy.  You’re on thin ice.

MISSY:  You better just keep your mouth shut about Gina, you understand me?

RHONDA:  Why are you protecting her?

MISSY:  Because I don’t have many friends, and she’s one of them.  I’m not letting them send her into war just so she can throw some ice at a couple of spaceships and get herself blown up.

                (JO makes spaceship sounds.)

RHONDA:  You’re doing the wrong thing.

MISSY:  Oh, like you never do?

RHONDA:  I’m a honest citizen, Missy.

MISSY:  Oh yeah?  Is that why you got an illegal tattoo parlor in your basement?

RHONDA:  That is a legitimate enterprise.

MISSY:  Well, I’m sure the government would love to hear about it.

                (A beat.)

RHONDA:  Fine.  I’ll keep my mouth shut.  But somebody’s gonna fine out, Missy.

MISSY:  Well if I don’t say anything and you don’t say anything, maybe we’ll be okay.  You gonna say anything Jo?

JO:  Throw her in the moat.

MISSY:  Yeah, I think we’ll be good.

                (Lights.)

We Might Be Heroes: Everybody Else

(NATALIE is seated in an interview room.  ELLEN enters with a folder.  She sits.)

ELLEN:  Your paperwork is done.  You can leave whenever you want.

NATALIE:  So that’s it?

ELLEN:  Yup.

NATALIE:  It seems a little anticlimactic.

ELLEN:  Sorry.

NATALIE:  Not your fault.  I was just hoping…that I could help.

ELLEN:  Well you said that your ability belonged to your brother?

NATALIE:  Yes, Jack had always had…He was very special.

ELLEN:  I’m surprised the army never caught it.

NATALIE:  Caught it?

ELLEN:  His, uh, talent.

NATALIE:  Oh, well—he was very protective of it.  He didn’t just, you know, want to throw it around, like, um…um…

ELLEN:  Natalie, can I ask you something?

NATALIE:  Sure.

ELLEN:  Why are you here?

NATALIE:  Excuse me?

ELLEN:  Your brother’s been gone for—how many years?

NATALIE:  Uh, well, let’s see, uh, I answered this on the form—

ELLEN:  No, I mean—

NATALIE:  Six years.  He was, uh—he was older than me.

ELLEN:  I’m sure he was a very good man.

NATALIE:  I just want it on record.

ELLEN:  What?

NATALIE:  That he was a hero.

ELLEN:  Well, I don’t think there’s any denying that he was a hero.  He fought for his country.

NATALIE:  No, I mean, a real hero.  Like with powers and everything.

ELLEN:  Uh—Natalie, I don’t know—

NATALIE:  I mean, you’re going to have a list or something, right?

ELLEN:  A list?

NATALIE:  Of all the people who, you know, pass your test or whatever.

ELLEN:  There’s no test.

NATALIE:  But you decide that certain people are heroes, and then, that information will become public, right?

ELLEN:  Uh—it’ll—No, it won’t be public.

(A beat.)

NATALIE:  Oh.

ELLEN:  Natalie, is this a financial matter?

NATALIE:  What do you mean?

ELLEN:  I mean—do you need help?  With money?

NATALIE:  I don’t need any money.

ELLEN:  No, but—

NATALIE:  I’m not here for money.  I’m here because I want someone to acknowledge my brother and what he did.

ELLEN:  Didn’t he have a military funeral?

NATALIE:  Yes, but—he was so much more than that.  Than just a—you know, some guy who died in a war.  That wasn’t all he was.  He could do things.  He had these—these abilities, right?  That’s what you call them?  Somebody should say that.  Somebody should say that he was special.  Like, officially special.

ELLEN:  I’m sure he was very special to you.

NATALIE:  Not just to me!

ELLEN:  No, of course not.  Your parents—

NATALIE:  They don’t even know I’m here.

ELLEN:  I think it’s very nice that you want us to honor your brother, but as I said, none of what we’re doing here will be public once we find what we’re looking for.

NATALIE:  But since he’s already dead, can’t you just…make an announcement about it?  I mean, why does it have to be private?

ELLEN:  Even if we could do that, we don’t have any proof that he could, uh—

NATALIE:  But I’ve shown you videos.  Photographs.  I  have testimony from fifteen different people.

ELLEN:  But we would need to see it for ourselves.

NATALIE:  So you are testing people.

ELLEN:  Not the sort of tests you’re probably thinking of.

NATALIE:  Do you think I’m making this up?

ELLEN:  It really doesn’t matter what I believe.  I’m pretty low on the totem pole.

NATALIE:  Well then why am I talking to you?

ELLEN:  Natalie—

NATALIE:  Are you supposed to call me Natalie?  Aren’t you supposed to—use my last name or something?

ELLEN:  Well, I thought being a little more informal might help.

NATALIE:  Help with what?  Letting me know that you think I’m a liar?

ELLEN:  I don’t think that.

NATALIE:  Is it because you think he was stupid?

ELLEN:  What?  No.  Of course not.

NATALIE:  Because he died?  Because he died when he probably didn’t have to?  Because he could have just used his power and that would have been it?  Hell, the whole war would have been over.  Maybe you’re mad at him about that.  That he didn’t do everything he could have done.

ELLEN:  Nobody’s mad at him.

NATALIE:  Well, I’m mad at him.  I have all these questions, and I just…I just don’t have any way of getting answers.  I was hoping coming here would…I don’t know.

ELLEN:  Maybe your brother wanted to be like everybody else.  Maybe he didn’t want to stand out.  We’re seeing a lot of that with the people who are coming in here.  They’d rather be like everybody else.

NATALIE:  Why?

ELLEN:  Well I think when you’re born different you want to fit it, and when you’re born fitting in, you want to feel special.  It’s all one big chase.  But your brother died in an honorable and heroic way, and even if he had a million superpowers, it wouldn’t make him anymore of a hero than he already is.

NATALIE:  Thank you for saying that.

ELLEN:  I’m not just saying it.  I believe it.

                (She puts her hand on NATALIE’s hand.)

You take care of yourself, all right?

NATALIE:  Okay.  Thank you.

                (ELLEN gets up.  She walks to the door.)

ELLEN:  Natalie?

NATALIE:  Yes?

ELLEN:  We often find that these enhanced abilities are genetic.  You don’t happen to—

NATALIE:  No.  I’m…just like everybody else.

ELLEN:  All right.  I—All right.

                (She exits.  Lights.)

We Might Be Heroes: Snow

I only used my power once

 

July 2^nd 2005

 

It was Christmas

And it was warm

 

My brother had his kid over

And he was upset

 

They flew in from Florida

Him, the kid, the wife

Now the ex-wife

But I won’t get into that

 

They flew here

And they were expecting snow

And—No snow

 

Thanks global warming, right?

 

Anyway, I’m sitting by the window

And my nephew comes over

Hops in my lap

And says ‘Uncle Dan, make it snow’

 

Now, that’s just something kids say

My nephew didn’t know anything about…

 

Well, I looked around to make sure nobody was paying attention

And I said—

 

‘Hey, look out the window’

 

And he looked out at the yard

And the street

And Mr. Wembley, our neighbor

Who was actually laying on a blanket on his front lawn

Getting a tan

I kid you not

 

And I said—

 

‘Watch’

 

And then it started to snow

 

And my nephew put his hands up against the window

And he smiled

And he looked at me

And said—‘Thanks Uncle Dan’

 

And that was it

 

We never talked about it again

 

That kid went through some rough stuff after that

His parents getting divorced

My brother’s health scare

Moving around a lot

Getting passed back and forth

From parent to parent

 

But he always liked visiting us

Uncle Dan and Aunt Kathy

Uncle Dan who cooks, and tells bad jokes

And makes it snow on Christmas

 

Look, I’m no Superman, but—

 

You ever see a kid’s face

When it snows on Christmas?

 

Well…

Leaping tall buildings

Can’t be any better than that

We Might Be Heroes: We'll All Be Okay

                (GEOFF is standing onstage.)

                                                                                GEOFF

Hey, uh—I don’t have a superpower.  Not that it matters.  The aliens went right past us.  They did hover for a little while over Turkey, but then—Poof.  Just like that.  So now we’re all here—superheroes, out in the open, and the rest of us—Well…The rest of us feeling like, you know, we’re the…other ones.  But like I said, there is one thing I can do.  Actually, anybody can do it, if you—Hey, never mind.  Let me just show you.  I need a volunteer from the audience.  Preferably somebody who isn’t having the best day.

                                                                (She finds someone and brings them onstage.)

                                               

Now, I need you to be honest with me okay?  But your secrets—all your secrets—are safe with me.  Just know that, all right?

                (The AUDIENCE MEMBER presumably nods or something.)

Okay.  Now, I want you to whisper in my ear the name of a person you’ve loved very much.

(GEOFF leans in and waits for the AUDIENCE MEMBER to whisper.  Once that happens, she nods.)

Okay, thank you.  Now, tell me about a time when you were either physically or emotionally, very hurt by something or someone.

                (GEOFF leans in.  Another whisper.)

Thank you so much for that.  Now, tell me about someone or something you’ve lost that meant a great deal to you.

                (Another lean-in, another whisper.)

I just want to tell you something.  I really like you.  I know I just met you, but honestly, I really feel close to you.  Would it be okay if I gave you a hug?

(The AUDIENCE MEMBER hopefully says yes.  If the AUDIENCE MEMBER says ‘No,’ have GEOFF say ‘Would anybody else like a hug?’ and then ask the first person to sit down after saying to them ‘Thank you for coming up here.  I wish you the best, I really do.  You’re going to be okay,’ then bring the second person up, start the play over, and continue from that point on.)

Now that we’ve hugged.  I just want to say to you—Everything’s going to be okay, all right?  I know you don’t believe me, because I’m an actor on a stage and somebody gave me lines to say and so you think maybe I’m insincere, but I promise you that they cast the most sincere person they could find in my role so that when the time came to do this, to talk to you, and hug you, and convince you that you’re going to be okay—you’d know that it was all true.  All right?  So listen to me, you’re going to be okay.

                (A beat.)

Just keep looking at me, okay?  I don’t need you to do anything, but look at me for now and listen, okay?

You’re going to be fine.  You might not be great, but you’ll be fine.

                (GEOFF turns to the AUDIENCE.)

Now, can anyone else in the audience who wants to help someone out come up here and tell this person they’re going to be okay?  You can also hug them, but only if they initiate a hug first.  Just be advised that a hug may be expected of you.  Okay, let’s do it.

(The next section takes place just as GEOFF has described.  If nobody comes up, GEOFF says ‘That’s okay.  I get it.  It’s cool.’  And the play continues.  To the AUDIENCE MEMBER.)

Thanks for coming up here today.  That was very brave of you.  I’ve had bad days too, but the next time I do, I’ll remember this.  One more hug?

                (One more hug.  Then--)

Thank you for this.  You can go back to your seat now, and I’m going to go backstage.  But we’re going to be friends after this, okay?  You’re always going to be my friend.

(The AUDIENCE MEMBER returns to their seat.)

Thank you all for coming.  And hey listen, we’re all heroes to somebody, right?  Have a good night.  Drive safe.  And buckle up.

                End of Play

We Might Be Heroes: The Sound It Makes

(CAROL and LISA are at the gym.)

CAROL:  She tried to tell me she wasn’t talking shit.  I was like, Gurl, I hearrrrrd you.

LISA:  Damn.

CAROL:  She was like ‘How’d you hear me?  I was in San Diego.’  I said, ‘Bitch, I heard you in San Diego.’

LISA:  She didn’t know about your hearing?

CAROL:  Nope.  And I thought we were friends.

LISA:  Even friends gossip sometimes.

CAROL:  Yeah, all my friends, apparently.

LISA:  Hey—

CAROL:  Not you, not you.

LISA:  So you two are done?

CAROL:  With Sheila?  Hell yeah.  She’s living in San Diego now anyway.  What do I need to bother with her for?

LISA:  I think you’re a little too quick to cut people loose.

CAROL:  If you’re worried I heard what you said about my potato salad—

LISA:  You were listening to—

CAROL:  It’s fine.  It wasn’t my best batch.  I didn’t take it personally, okay?

LISA:  Jesus, Carol.

CAROL:  What?

LISA:  You can’t just eavesdrop like that.

CAROL:  I can’t help it!

LISA:  All the people in the world, and you just happened to be listening to what your best friend was saying about your potato salad?

CAROL:  The people I know come through loud and clear.  Everybody else is just static.

LISA:  You know, you could put that skill to good use if you learned to weed out some of the helpful stuff from the static.

CAROL:  Like what?

LISA:  Like terrorist threats or whatever.

CAROL:  Terrorist threats?  Lisa, I don’t need to be listening to terrorists.  I’m nervous enough as it is with all these aliens flying over us.

LISA:  You should help out.

CAROL:  Why?  You think I can listen to the aliens too?

LISA:  Have you tried?

CAROL:  No, I haven’t tried.  I’ve been busy.

LISA:  Doing what?

CAROL:  Listening to you bash my potato salad.

LISA:  Come on, Carol.

CAROL:  The government has people who can do that kind of stuff.  They don’t need me putting my two cents in.

LISA:  They’re saying they do.

CAROL:  Well, if Sheila starts threatening the government, I’ll let them know.

LISA:  You ever hear about Rich?

CAROL:  Yeah, I hear he’s an asshole.

LISA:  Carol—

CAROL:  Lisa, I didn’t listen to Rich when he was standing right in front of me.  Why would I listen to him now?

LISA:  Aren’t you curious about where he is?

CAROL:  I know where he is.

LISA:  You do?

CAROL:  Well, I have a general idea.

(A beat.)

LISA:  Well?

CAROL:  Why do you care?

LISA:  He’s my brother.  And he’s a good brother.

CAROL:  Yeah, well, he’s a lousy boyfriend.

LISA:  Ex-boyfriend.

CAROL:  Thanks for that, Lisa.

LISA:  If you knew where he was, would you tell me?

CAROL:  Gurl, I’d buy you a plane ticket.

LISA:  He’s not back in Dallas, is he?

CAROL:  He might be.

LISA:  Carol—

CAROL:  I’m not his keeper, Carol.

LISA:  No, but you’re my friend.

CAROL:  And as a friend, let me just tell you that he’s involved with some stuff you don’t want to be involved in.

LISA:  Like what?

CAROL:  Like some bad shit.

LISA:  So you have been listening to him?

CAROL:  Sometimes I can’t help it.

LISA:  I should do something.

CAROL:  Lisa—

LISA:  Is it like what happened the last time?

CAROL:  It doesn’t sound that bad.

LISA:  Dammit, Carol—

CAROL:  What are you gonna do?  You’re gonna go running off to Texas like—

LISA:  You know, if you gave a damn about anybody, you’d understand why I can’t just…

(A beat.)

CAROL:  Hey, I gave a damn about him, all right?

LISA:  I know.

CAROL:  Yeah, but it’s different for you.

LISA:  It is.

CAROL:  Then why don’t you try listening to him all the time?  And listen to you talking about how I failed?  And listen to every friend I have blaming me for it.

LISA:  Nobody’s blaming you.

CAROL:  I’m not stupid, Lisa.

LISA:  I never said—

CAROL:  And I can hear it, all right?  I can hear it.

(A beat.)

LISA:  I never said you were to blame.

CAROL:  What about your Mom?

LISA:  Well, my Mom’s a bitch, so—

CAROL:  It figures, you know.  He tried telling me, and I couldn’t hear him.

LISA:  None of us could.

CAROL:  Then he takes off and…Suddenly I can hear miles and miles away.  People, sounds, rain falling, stones going across a lake, a fly buzzing around across the ocean, but…But when I close my eyes and focus?  All I can hear is him.

LISA:  What about right now?

CAROL:  He’s sitting on a bed in a motel room.

LISA:  What a cliché.

CAROL:  It’s not a bad motel.  It’s just…a motel.

LISA:  What’s he doing?

CAROL:  He’s being quiet.

LISA:  That’s it?

CAROL:  Yeah, he’s just…kinda sitting.

LISA:  So how can you hear him?

CAROL:  Sometimes the sound right before the sound is louder than the sound itself.

LISA:  How long has he been sitting there?

CAROL:  A long time.  And he’s going to keep sitting there.

LISA:  How do you know?

CAROL:  Because I don’t hear anything coming for him.  All I hear is him waiting.  Waiting on something that’s never going to come.

                (Lights.)

We Might Be Heroes: The Car in Front of Me

The car in front of me could explode

It could explode right now

It’s not moving

Nothing’s moving

This is standstill traffic

The sort of traffic that makes you lose faith

In whatever goodness

Might exist

Within humanity

And I can make the car in front of me explode

And the car after that

And the car after that

I can make this entire highway explode

I can make everything around me

Burst into flames

As my little car

Drives forward

Past the wreckage and the rubble

Me, humming a little tune

The Apocalypse a lovely drive

On a summer’s day

I’m in a rush

I’m in a rush and I’m stuck in traffic

Which means that right now

I am a bad person

I am wishing awful things

On everyone around

I am thinking the sorts of things

That, if anyone could hear them,

Would probably have me jailed

And because I can do what I can do

I am also a dangerous person

Because even though I have a certain amount of control

It’s dwindling

It’s dwindling and I’m sitting here

And I need to move

I really need to move

But we’re not moving

And the traffic is butter cream frosting

It stretches out in front of me so far

I can’t even see what the cause of the traffic is

Although I suspect

There was a fender bender

And everyone wants to stop and stare at it

For five to ten minutes

Before moving along

To wherever it is they’re going

And if that is the case

I will blow up

This entire city

Maybe this entire planet

Not out of anger

But because if human beings

Can honestly be that fascinated

By two cars tapping each other

Then society has failed

Civilization has failed

And we should all just call it quits

I would like to move

I would like to move—now

Please

People are leaning on their horns

As if that can make the car in front of you disappear

Or the six cars in front of the car in front of you

The horn is worthless

The entire car is worthless

Wheels out of motion

Engines just clearing their throats

Every once in awhile

Asphalt and orange cones

The occasional truck next to you

Like a whale sitting next to a sailboat

If I were to hear a horn right now

I would/I could destroy

The entire galaxy

I have that in me

I could it

I know I could

I could make this all

Go away

And wouldn’t I be doing everybody a favor?

Wouldn’t it all be better just…

A dog pops up in the backseat

Of the car in front of me

Its tongue is hanging out

It has one floppy ear

It smiles at me

A dog smile, but definitely a smile

I smile back

Nobody moves

Nothing moves

Time itself has to hold its breath

And far, far away

I hear…

…A horn

We Might Be Heroes: Stan

(DENISE and DENNIS are sitting in a break room.)

DENISE:  You need to calm down.

DENNIS:  If they find out—

DENISE:  They’re not going to find out.

DENNIS:  David—

DENISE:  David can go to hell.

DENNIS:  He’s my boss.

DENISE:  And I’m his boss.  So what are you worried about?

DENNIS:  I don’t want to get you in trouble either.

DENISE:  Nobody’s getting in trouble.  The program’s voluntary.

DENNIS:  Denise, please.

DENISE:  What?

DENNIS:  You know it’s not—

DENISE:  Dennis—

DENNIS:  Denise, c’mon.

DENISE:  If Stan doesn’t want to participate, he doesn’t have to.  He knows that.

DENNIS:  Then why did he run away?

DENISE:  First of all, let’s not call it running away.  He’s a grown man.  He didn’t run away.  He—I don’t know what he did.  He probably didn’t do anything.  This is probably just a misunderstanding.  Have you tried calling him?

DENNIS:  He left his phone at the house.

DENISE:  Really?

DENNIS:  Yes!  See—isn’t that weird?

DENISE:  It’s only been a few hours.

DENNIS:  He wouldn’t just not show up for work.  It’s because of what we talked about last night.

DENISE:  What did you talk about?

DENNIS:  About how we…Dammit.

DENISE:  Dennis, did you tell him something?

DENNIS:  I was just—

DENISE:  Did you tell him something about what we talked about at the briefing yesterday?

DENNIS:  I just mentioned that he might want to sign up on his own, and not wait because—

DENISE:  You didn’t bring up the draft, did you?

DENNIS:  I said theoretically—

DENISE:  Jesus, Dennis.

DENNIS:  But he seemed fine.  It wasn’t like he panicked or anything.

DENISE:  But now he’s gone and he knows about the draft?

DENNIS:  But there is no draft, right?  You just said—

DENISE:  It’s still a confidential matter we’re discussing within the department!

DENNIS:  So there is going to be a draft?

DENISE:  You let private information out in the public!

DENNIS:  I did not!  I just told my husband to get him to come in and sign up.  Isn’t that what we wanted?

DENISE:  Yes, I mean—Yes, we did want that.  But what we didn’t want was somebody like Stan going out into the world feeling backed into some kind of corner—

DENNIS:  It’s not like he’d hurt anybody.

DENISE:  Not intentionally, but—

DENNIS:  He’s never hurt anybody.  Intentionally or otherwise.

DENISE:  Do you really know that for sure?

DENNIS:  Denise, we’ve been together for fifteen years.  You’ve been over our house.  You went in our hot tub.

DENISE:  But now he’s gone, and he didn’t even let you know where he was going.

DENNIS:  Probably because he’s scared.

DENISE:  Well, now, I’m a little scared.

DENNIS:  I am, too, but—

DENISE:  Of him, Dennis.

DENNIS:  You’re scared of Stan?  My Stan?

DENISE:  He can make things combust with his mind, Dennis.  Why wouldn’t I be scared of him?

                (She goes to the door.)

DENNIS:  Where are you going?

DENISE:  I have to tell David about this.

DENNIS:  What?

DENISE:  Dennis, this is a major breach.

DENNIS:  It’s not a breach.  He’s just—I’ll find him, okay?

DENISE:  If you could have found him, you would have found him already.  We need to call this in.  Team Grey can find him faster than you or I can.

DENNIS:  You want to call in Team Grey?

DENISE:  They’re who we call in.  You know that.

DENNIS:  They’re who we call in when we want to remove a target.

DENISE:  We’re not going to remove Stan.  We just need to get him sequestered.

DENNIS:  And what if he resists?

DENISE:  Well, why would he resist?

DENNIS:  Gee, I don’t know, because you’re sending a squad of mercenaries after him?

DENISE:  Dennis—

DENNIS:  He’s running for a reason.  He doesn’t want to come in.  If you try and force him to—

DENISE:  If you hadn’t told him about the draft—

DENNIS:  You said there might not be a draft.

DENISE:  But he can’t know that—whether there is or there isn’t—he can’t know those sorts of things.  Jesus, Dennis, what else did you tell him?

DENNIS:  Oh, and you don’t tell Steve anything about work?

DENISE:  Steve can’t blow up buildings whenever he feels like it.

DENNIS:  Stan wouldn’t do that.

DENISE:  I’m sorry, Dennis, but I can’t just take your word on that.

DENNIS:  Forget my word, what about yours?

DENISE:  What?

DENNIS:  You know him.  He’s not just my husband.  He’s your friend.  You know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt anybody, right?

DENISE:  Dennis, you have to understand, if something were to happen, I can’t go to the boss and just say—I thought everything would be okay.  I have to say that I knew everything would be okay, because I was handling the situation.  So you need to let me handle this.

DENNIS:  And what if they take him out?

DENISE:  Dennis—

DENNIS:  Don’t act like it’s not a possibility, because we both know it is.

DENISE:  Team Grey is designed to handle a lot of different scenarios.  They don’t just go in to kill.  David says—

DENNIS:  I thought you were David’s boss?

DENISE:  I am, but he still needs to be brought into this.

DENNIS:  He’s my husband, Denise.

DENISE:  I understand that.

DENNIS:  If this was Steve—

DENISE:  If this was Steve, I’d tell Team Grey to take him out.

(A beat.)

DENNIS:  What?

DENISE:  I wouldn’t take the chance.

DENNIS:   You don’t mean that.

DENISE:  I’m going to try and get them to bring Stan in alive, because I know how you’d—

DENNIS:  You’d have them take out Steve?

DENISE:  Dennis, we’re in the business of keeping the country safe.  That goes beyond who we’re married to, or who our parents or our kids are, or who we like or don’t like, or—

DENNIS:  Who we’re friends with?

DENISE:  I will tell them to bring him in alive—if they can.

DENNIS:  And what’s going to happen to me?  When they find out I told him about the…the chance of there being a draft?

DENISE:  When they find out what you did, they’re going to want to prosecute you.

DENNIS:  Oh God.

DENISE:  And I have to tell them about it, or they’ll come after me too.

DENNIS:  Oh my God.

DENISE:  So I’m going to go to the bathroom.  I’m going to be in there for about twenty minutes.  When I come out, I’m going to see David.  By then, you should already be on your way to Canada.

DENNIS:  What?

DENISE:  Or Mexico.  Whichever.  Just don’t go to an airport.  Drive.  Avoid tolls.  Drive fast.

DENNIS:  Denise—

DENISE:  That’s what I would do.  If I were you.

DENNIS:  But Stan—

DENISE:  You’re never going to see Stan again, Dennis.  I can try getting him here alive, but I can’t make everything better.  Do you understand that?

(A beat.)

DENNIS:  Yes.

DENISE:  I’m going to take the bathroom.  And then I’m going to see David.  Stay here for a second.  Take a deep breath.  Then get to your car and drive.  Okay?

(DENNIS nods.)

Say ‘Okay’ for me.

DENNIS:  Okay.

DENISE:  Good.  I love you.

DENNIS:  I love you too.

DENISE:  Maybe this will all be okay eventually.

DENNIS:  Do you believe that could happen?

DENISE:  I don’t know.  I really don’t.

                (She exits.  He sits.  Lights.)