We Might Be Heroes: Invisible

(JERRY, STEPHANIE, and DEREK are at the food court of the mall.)

DEREK:  So she’s sitting here right now?

JERRY:  Yes.

DEREK:  And you can see her.

JERRY:  Yes.

STEPHANIE:  Can he hear me?

                (DEREK jumps.)

DEREK:  What the hell?

JERRY:  Geez, Stephanie, sight and sound have nothing to do with each other.  Don’t you know anything about physics?

DEREK:  She’s really invisible right now?

JERRY:  Yes.

DEREK:  But then how can you see her?

JERRY:  I don’t know.  This all happened after the explosion at the nuclear plant when we were twelve.  She could go invisible and I could still see her.

DEREK:  So your only power is seeing her.

JERRY:  I know, it’s, like, super lame.

STEPHANIE:  Hey!

DEREK:  Ah!

STEPHANIE:  Don’t say it’s lame.  It’s awesome.  We’re connected to each other forever.

JERRY:  Yeah, but you get, like, an awesome superpower and I have to be, like, your sidekick.

STEPHANIE:  Jerry—

JERRY:  And you don’t even really need me unless you want people to know you’re around when you’re invisible, which, like, defeats the purpose of being invisible.

STEPHANIE:  That’s not true.  And you’re not my sidekick.  You’re my friend.

DEREK:  How long can she stay invisible?

STEPHANIE:  Ew, I’m right here, Derek.

DEREK:  Ah!  I keep forgetting.

JERRY:  Stephanie, can you just appear already?

STEPHANIE:  No, we’re in a food court.  There are people everywhere.

JERRY:  It’s Providence Place.  A girl appearing out of thin air would be the least weird thing that’s happened here in months.

STEPHANIE:  Fine.

(She snaps her fingers.)

DEREK:  Oh my God!  It’s true.

STEPHANIE:  NOW you believe it’s true?

DEREK:  I thought maybe you guys were playing a joke on me.  Like, maybe there was a microphone under the table or something.

JERRY:  No, it’s just magic.

STEPHANIE:  It’s not magic, Jerry.  It’s a mutation.

JERRY:  Whatever.  Can you turn invisible again and go get me a milkshake from Johnny Rockets?

STEPHANIE:  My ability isn’t a toy you can use to get free milkshakes.

JERRY:  You’re like the worst superhero ever.

STEPHANIE:  What?

JERRY:  You’re supposed to help people.

STEPHANIE:  Yeah, well, you’re the worst sidekick ever.

JERRY:  I KNEW I WAS YOUR SIDEKICK!

DEREK:  Steph, how are you going to fight the aliens?

STEPHANIE:  By turning invisible.

DEREK:  But how does that help?

STEPHANIE:  I don’t know.  I’m not the government.  Let them figure it out.

JERRY:  Maybe they can shoot her at the alien ships.

DEREK:  Like a missile?

JERRY:  Yeah, like an invisible missile.

DEREK:  She’ll die!

JERRY:  A noble sacrifice.

DEREK:  How is it noble?

JERRY:  I don’t know.  All sacrifices are noble.  It’s like how all milkshakes are delicious.

DEREK:  She won’t even make a dent!  She’s just a person.  We’re talking about ships made out of—stuff that aliens have.

STEPHANIE:  Well, I have to do something.  I’m a superhero.

DEREK:  Are you though?

STEPHANIE:  What are you saying Derek?

DEREK:  Don’t you need to actually save someone to be a superhero?  It’s not just about having the powers—

STEPHANIE:  I’m trying to save someone.  I’m trying to save the whole planet.

DEREK:  But you won’t.

JERRY:  But she can try.

DEREK:  Yeah, and then she’ll die, and then she’ll be a martyr, but she won’t be a hero.

STEPHANIE:  Aren’t martyrs heroes?

DEREK:  Not always.  Some of them are just stupid people who sacrificed themselves when they could have actually stuck around and done some good.

STEPHANIE:  What do you want me to do, Derek?  Just stay here going on and off like a light switch?  I have a gift.  I’m not going to treat it like it’s some kind of parlor trick.

DEREK:  But that’s exactly what it is.  It’s not a gift.  Nobody gave it to you.  It’s the result of an awful thing that happened to you.

STEPHANIE:  I have to believe there’s more to it than that.

DEREK:  Why?  Why do you need to believe that?

STEPHANIE:  Because I want to be special!

                (A beat.)

JERRY:  I mean, we’re all special.  Even Derek’s special, and he’s really not.

DEREK:  My Dad ran into a burning building because there might have been somebody inside.

STEPHANIE:  Derek—

DEREK:  He didn’t need to do that.

JERRY:  There could have been somebody in the building.

DEREK:  But there wasn’t.  There was nobody in the building, and there was me at home in bed waiting for my Dad to get back from working a double at the firehouse so I could go to sleep because I couldn’t sleep without hearing him say goodnight to me.  That’s not a hero.  You’re not a hero because you saw a burning building and thought of the invisible people inside before you thought of your own kid.

STEPHANIE:  Maybe he wasn’t thinking.

DEREK:  And maybe you’re not thinking.

JERRY:  Derek, she just wants to help.  We all want to help.  And most of us are going to get stuck down here on Earth waiting for something to happen.  Even if we beat the aliens, or if they decide not to attack us, from this point on, it’s just going to be like—Okay, I’m one of the people on the sidelines.  I’m not a fighter.  I’m not a hero.  I’m nobody.  Like, from now on, anybody who thinks they’re somebody is going to know that they’re not.  Our entire generation believes that they’re secretly famous and the rest of the world just needs to realize it, and when the rug gets pulled out from under that idea, it’s going to be really catastrophic.  Like, suicide rates are going to go through the roof.  Or worse.

DEREK:  What do you mean worse?

JERRY:  Villains don’t always exist just because they want to be bad.  Most of the time, they just couldn’t be the hero, but they still wanted to be somebody.

DEREK:  I feel like I could be a villain.

JERRY:  You’ve got the right origin story for it.

STEPHANIE:  He’s also got a really good origin story for a hero.

DEREK:  But I don’t have any powers.

JERRY:  Batman doesn’t have any powers.  He’s just a millionaire.

STEPHANIE:  So you could become a millionaire.

JERRY:  But you’d have to do it before the aliens attack.

STEPHANIE:  If they attack.

JERRY:  Right.

DEREK:  What about you, Jerry?  Are you just going to stay a sidekick?

JERRY:  Well, it would make more sense for me to become Steph’s nemesis.

STEPHANIE:  Jerry!

JERRY:  I’m sorry, but it’s true.  I’m the only one who can see you when you’re invisible.  That means I’m the only one who can stop you.

STEPHANIE:  Stop me from what?

JERRY:  I don’t know.  I can’t think.  I need a milkshake.

STEPHANIE:  I can’t steal for you, Jerry.  If I steal, I’m not a hero.

DEREK:  How do you know you are a hero?  Maybe you’re a villain.

                (A beat.)

JERRY:  Ooooohhhh.

STEPHANIE:  The aliens are the villains.  I’m not a villain.

DEREK:  But you can’t really be a hero either.

JERRY:  But you can get me a milkshake.

STEPHANIE:  Ugh.

                (She takes out a five dollar bill and hands it to JERRY.)

Just go get yourself a milkshake.

JERRY:   Wow.  Now you really are my hero.

                (He takes the five dollar bill and exits.)

DEREK:  Maybe the aliens can see invisible people.  Have you ever thought of that?

STEPHANIE:  I think if you think too much, you never do anything.  You just sit around waiting for somebody to walk up to you and say ‘Now.  Do it now.  Grow up now.  Become somebody now.’  Nobody’s going to wave a flag for me, Derek.  I just have to go for it.

DEREK:  If we beat the aliens, but you don’t come back, I might be so mad about it I’ll just blow up the world anyway.

STEPHANIE:  How?

DEREK:  I don’t know, but the thing is…You only need superpowers to save something, you don’t need anything to destroy it.

STEPHANIE:  Then I hope I survive so I can save you after I save the world.

DEREK:  I wish you could save me first.

STEPHANIE:  Why?

DEREK:  Because then saving the world wouldn’t seem so hard.

                (She puts her hands over his hands.  Lights.)