We Might Be Heroes: The Car in Front of Me

The car in front of me could explode

It could explode right now

It’s not moving

Nothing’s moving

This is standstill traffic

The sort of traffic that makes you lose faith

In whatever goodness

Might exist

Within humanity

And I can make the car in front of me explode

And the car after that

And the car after that

I can make this entire highway explode

I can make everything around me

Burst into flames

As my little car

Drives forward

Past the wreckage and the rubble

Me, humming a little tune

The Apocalypse a lovely drive

On a summer’s day

I’m in a rush

I’m in a rush and I’m stuck in traffic

Which means that right now

I am a bad person

I am wishing awful things

On everyone around

I am thinking the sorts of things

That, if anyone could hear them,

Would probably have me jailed

And because I can do what I can do

I am also a dangerous person

Because even though I have a certain amount of control

It’s dwindling

It’s dwindling and I’m sitting here

And I need to move

I really need to move

But we’re not moving

And the traffic is butter cream frosting

It stretches out in front of me so far

I can’t even see what the cause of the traffic is

Although I suspect

There was a fender bender

And everyone wants to stop and stare at it

For five to ten minutes

Before moving along

To wherever it is they’re going

And if that is the case

I will blow up

This entire city

Maybe this entire planet

Not out of anger

But because if human beings

Can honestly be that fascinated

By two cars tapping each other

Then society has failed

Civilization has failed

And we should all just call it quits

I would like to move

I would like to move—now

Please

People are leaning on their horns

As if that can make the car in front of you disappear

Or the six cars in front of the car in front of you

The horn is worthless

The entire car is worthless

Wheels out of motion

Engines just clearing their throats

Every once in awhile

Asphalt and orange cones

The occasional truck next to you

Like a whale sitting next to a sailboat

If I were to hear a horn right now

I would/I could destroy

The entire galaxy

I have that in me

I could it

I know I could

I could make this all

Go away

And wouldn’t I be doing everybody a favor?

Wouldn’t it all be better just…

A dog pops up in the backseat

Of the car in front of me

Its tongue is hanging out

It has one floppy ear

It smiles at me

A dog smile, but definitely a smile

I smile back

Nobody moves

Nothing moves

Time itself has to hold its breath

And far, far away

I hear…

…A horn