Nana Was a Movie Star

Nana was a movie star

In the studio system

When limousines were bicycles

And dancing was walking

She went on dates

With blonde men from Iowa

Who won contests

Just to have root beer floats with her

At night, she’d stare at the Hollywood sign

And dream about putting her name

Between the letters

Like a secret message

Only she could read

During the day

She’d make movies

About girls in danger

And girls in love

And girls standing next to boys

Begging them not to go on adventures

That they would always go on anyway

When Nana was just nineteen

She met my grandfather

At a gas station

On Orange Grove Boulevard

Under a billboard

For Dandelion Shampoo

She said she knew right away

That she was going to marry him

And that they were going to have a gorgeous daughter

And a handsome son

And live happily ever after

Just as soon as he was done pumping her gas

You see, Grandfather worked at the gas station

He wasn’t one of the movie stars

Nana was used to going on dates with

He had exactly two dollars and three cents in a bank account
And a little studio apartment

Two houses down from where he worked

When Nana asked him out on a date

He was shocked that a famous lady like her

Would want to spend time

With a guy like him

But they did go on a date

And then another

And then another

Nana always said—

‘Love doesn’t care about professions

Or piggy banks

It just lands where it lands

And sets up shop’

Nana set up shop with Grandfather

At that studio apartment

Less than two months later

When they were married

She stopped making movies

And she stopped drinking root beer floats

And she never went to look at the Hollywood sign

Because somehow it felt dishonest

Years went by

And people would ask—

‘Whatever happened to that beautiful girl

Who used to stand next to the men

And tell them not to go’

But forgetting

Is what people do best

And so they forgot

And new movies became old movies

And old movies became a new kind of history

But not one you would study in school

My Nana and Grandfather

Did have a gorgeous daughter

And a handsome son

The son is my uncle

And the daughter is my mother

And one day when I was over Nana’s house

The television was on

And a black and white movie popped onto the screen

And in that movie

There was a young girl

Who looked just like me

It was one of Nana’s first pictures

‘The Lonely Bride’

And the movie was dramatic

And sad

And no matter how much Nana told her husband

Not to go

He kept going

And leaving her behind

To be the Lonely Bride

When it was all over

I found Nana out in the backyard

Sitting in the sun
Reading a book

‘Nana,’ I said, ‘You never told me you made movies’

She told me everything I’ve told you

And when she was finished

I asked her why she decided to stop making movies

When she married my grandfather

Was it because she thought

She couldn’t be a wife and a mother and a Nana

And a movie star too?

And my Nana said—

‘I just got sick of telling men not to do stuff

And I got sick of not doing anything myself either’

I couldn’t believe it

‘But Nana,’ I said, ‘You were doing things!

You were a movie star!’

She took me up on her lap

And said—

‘Having your mom and uncle and you

Was more of something

Than all the movies in the world

You’ve all been quite an adventure’

‘But,’ I said, ‘You used to see your name

In the Hollywood sign’

And she said—

‘Well now I see my name in you

And that’s better than any old sign’

Nana was a movie star

In the studio system

When limousines were bicycles

And dancing was walking

And she left it all behind

To go off on her own adventure

And the only person who could tell her not to was herself

And so she didn’t tell herself that

She went on an adventure

To become the brightest star she could be

Not to standing next to anyone at all