Return to the Lie

So I know what we’re doing now

We’re returning to the lie

We tried the truth

It didn’t work

So now we’re going back

I won’t look at you

You won’t look at me

We’ll crack our half-laugh jokes

We’ll smile forgiving smiles

We’ll bribe ourselves with calendars

Two more days, two more weeks

Then we’ll make a change

You’ll get home at seven

I’ll get home at six

Pizza Mondays

Take-out Tuesdays

And grilled whatever

The rest of the week

Have I gained weight?
Have you lost hair?

No

No

We’re pecks on the cheek

And clothes from last week

Did we wash them?
Who cares

It’s not like they went anywhere

But we have our secret weapons

That we keep tucked away

The attitude lurks

In the bottom of compliments

And bottles of wine

The extended sighs

The rolling eyes

The letting go

Of things

That used to make us fight

Why fight now?
What for?
For what?

To get some kind of closure

On why you did this

And why I did that

I did that because I’m me

And you did this because you’re you

Or maybe I’m how I am because of you

Because I’m with you

And maybe it’s the same

The other way around

Blame gets left on the counter

Right next to our keys

And each of us

Keeps forgetting

Where we put it

The faucets stay running

The lights stay on

The locks unlocked

The doors ajar

Welcoming in

Whatever kind of trouble

We could get ourselves in

But even trouble doesn’t want

Anything to do with us

Trouble went to the house next door

And took that old man

And his lovely old wife

They died together

In the very same bed

A day apart?
Two days?

Who knows?

Maybe it happened

All at once

Wouldn’t that be kind?

I get the feeling

Death will not be that kind

To us

Because even if you died next to me

I’d still die alone

Alone and lonely

Because the only thing

Keeping me company

Was a lie

A you-shaped lie

That I put myself

In the middle of

A bargain I made

That kept me just happy enough

To never move

To never leave

To never shift

To never shout

To never pout

To never pray

For anything better

Because I’ve seen worse

All my life

But I could see better

Across the street

For a night, we did it

We said what we said

We dropped glass on the floor

And stepped on it

We threw out food

That wasn’t bad

We bumped our heads

On the low-hanging fruit

We burned down the candles

And filled up the sink

Smeared jelly on our faces

Poured shampoo on the bed

No going to sleep

Until this was worked out

And the lie was showed outside

Until we did

But…

It got cold outside

And we felt bad

For ourselves

And so we invited the lie

Back inside

And it lives on the floor

And it lives in our mouths

And it lives in the attic

And it stays on the couch

And we keep it

Protect it

It’s ours

It’s the only thing

We agree on

It’s the only thing
We’ve made

That never seems

To break

So here we are

Knowing what we know

Knowing too much

Knowing everything

But the things we need to know

Oh well.

It’s colder outside, right?

That’s what they tell me

That’s what I imagine

They’d say