We Might Be Heroes: Swimmers

(MARY ANN and SUSAN are on a plane reading magazines.)

MARY ANN:  You know what I don’t understand—

SUSAN:  Please Mary Ann.

MARY ANN:  If you can fly—

SUSAN:  I’m not just going to flying through the air.  I explained this to you several times.

MARY ANN:  We would have saved a lot of money on plane tickets.

SUSAN:  What do you mean ‘we?’  You’d still be on this plane.

MARY ANN:  I thought maybe you could carry me.

SUSAN:  Just because I can fly, that doesn’t mean I have superhuman strength.

MARY ANN:  Well that was rude.

SUSAN:  I’m sorry.  I hate flying.  You know that.

MARY ANN:  I do, but you know, ever since you told me you can fly, it’s made your fear of flying seem a little odd.

SUSAN:  In planes.  I don’t like flying in planes.

MARY ANN:  But you don’t mind flying on your own?

SUSAN:  No.

MARY ANN:  That’s weird.

SUSAN:  When I’m on my own, I’m in control.  In here, I just feel…I don’t know.

MARY ANN:  Well, if anything happens, you could always just jump out of the nearest exit.

SUSAN:  Please, Mary Ann, don’t even bring it up.

MARY ANN:  Fine, fine.  But you know, if I can be on a plane—

SUSAN:  I know, Mary Ann.

MARY ANN:  Statistically speaking, we’re fine.

(A beat.)

SUSAN:  We might see Larry in DC.

MARY ANN:  What?

SUSAN:  When we get there.

MARY ANN:  Why would we see Larry?

SUSAN:  He lives there.

MARY ANN:  So do a lot of people.

SUSAN:  Don’t make this a big deal.

MARY ANN:  Why were you even talking to him?

SUSAN:  I had to tell him Michelle is pregnant.

MARY ANN:  Why can’t Michelle tell him?

SUSAN:  Mary Ann, he’s the father of my children.

MARY ANN:  And your youngest child is twenty-eight.  You don’t need to talk to him anymore.

SUSAN:  I was just curious about how he was doing.

MARY ANN:  How is he doing?

SUSAN:  He’s fine.

MARY ANN:  Still with Gloria?

SUSAN:  Well…

MARY ANN:  Jesus.

SUSAN:  Mary Ann—

MARY ANN:  Did you think I’d be thrilled about this?

SUSAN:  It’s nothing.  He said maybe we could get coffee while I was in town.

MARY ANN:  While you’re signing up to go fight aliens?

SUSAN:  You know, this probably hasn’t occurred to you, but in the event I do end up fighting aliens, I’d like to have all my affairs in order.

MARY ANN:  I didn’t realize Larry was an affair.

SUSAN:  I never liked how we ended things.

MARY ANN:  So you want to start ‘em up again so you can end ‘em right?

SUSAN:  That’s not it.

MARY ANN:  You know, I came on this trip to support you—

SUSAN:  Exactly.  So be supportive.

MARY ANN:  I never agreed to babysit you while you rekindle things with Larry.

SUSAN:  Nothing is getting rekindled.  I just want to say what I have to say before I go to my appointment at the agency.

MARY ANN:  And what is it you have to say?

SUSAN:  That…he hurt me.  Very much.

MARY ANN:  You think he doesn’t know that?

SUSAN:  I’m sure he does, but I’ve never said it to him.

MARY ANN:  You think he cares?

SUSAN:  People change, Susan.

MARY ANN:  You know, you never tell me anything.

SUSAN:  What are you talking about?  You’re the only person I told about the—you know, my…ability.

MARY ANN:  Yeah, after decades of keeping it a secret.

SUSAN:  I didn’t tell anybody.

MARY ANN:  Did you tell Larry?

SUSAN:  Of course I told Larry, he was my husband.

MARY ANN:  He was your rotten husband.

SUSAN:  He wasn’t always rotten.

MARY ANN:  What did he say?

SUSAN:  When?

MARY ANN:  When you told him you could fly?

SUSAN:  He said I should keep my feet on the ground where they belong.  Then he had another beer.

MARY ANN:  What a prize.

SUSAN:  He was right.

MARY ANN:  What?

SUSAN:  They would have experimented on me for science or whatever.  The only reason I’m turning myself in now is because they actually want me to.

MARY ANN:  And because you’re not with him.

SUSAN:  No.

MARY ANN:  Does he know you’re turning yourself in?

SUSAN:  Yes.

MARY ANN:  And what does he have to say about it now?

SUSAN:  He doesn’t think I should do it.

MARY ANN:  What a surprise.

SUSAN:  Because he still cares about me.

MARY ANN:  Because he wants to keep you down, that’s why.

SUSAN:  You were always jealous because I…

(A beat.)

MARY ANN:  Well, go ahead.  Finish.  Because you had a husband and I didn’t.

SUSAN:  I didn’t…You had Joe.

MARY ANN:  Yes, I did.  And he was wonderful.

SUSAN:  The good ones die too young.

MARY ANN:  Is Joe the reason you’re scared to fly?

SUSAN:  I think the better question is how are you not scared to fly?  Your husband—

MARY ANN:  Some women’s husbands die from drowning, Susan, and they still swim.  Well, some of them do.  I guess when it comes down to it, I’m a swimmer.

SUSAN:  You’ve always been tougher than me.

MARY ANN:  Yeah, but you’re a superhero, I’m not.

SUSAN:  That’s up for debate.

MARY ANN:  You don’t need Larry’s permission to do this, you know.

SUSAN:  But it couldn’t hurt.

MARY ANN:  Susan—

SUSAN:  It’s why he left me.  He says that’s not the reason, but…It’s what I think.  It’s what I believe.

MARY ANN:  If that’s true, then I hope the aliens kill him first.

SUSAN:  Mary Ann!

MARY ANN:  You never know, Susan, the aliens might offer to only kill half the people on earth, and if they do, I think we should just give them the assholes and not put up too much of a fight.

SUSAN:  You know, Joe saw me flying once.

MARY ANN:  He did?

SUSAN:  By accident.  I only went out flying at night.  To practice, just because…Well, I don’t know why.  It was so late; I thought nobody would be up, but there he was, in your backyard.

MARY ANN:  He was always a night owl.  But he never told me he saw you.

SUSAN:  I made him promise not to.  But he said he’d only keep it a secret if I swore I’d never stop.  You should see yourself, he said, A person flying—you make it look like we should all be able to do it.  He made me feel…He was a very kind man.

MARY ANN:  Maybe he’s flying now too.  Maybe that’s the reward we get if we live a good life.  Maybe when it’s all over, we get to fly.

(She puts her hand over SUSAN’s hand.  Lights.)