They All Look the Same

When they’ve got their coat

Wrapped around them

Those coats

With the high collars

That cover them

Up to their eyes

When it’s like that

They all look the same

Can’t see the difference

Even if I wanted to

The man who I was thinking of
Had a coat just like one of those

And a wide-brimmed hat

And shoes that made a noise

When he walked on pavement

And so when I was walking home

A year later

After…

I thought I was fine

I told everyone I was fine

And I kept walking home

Alone

By myself

Because I thought

Well, statistically speaking
I’ll be fine

It’s not going to happen again

And I wasn’t afraid of the dark

And I wasn’t worried about dark alleys

Or what could be around the next corner

A few times I even walked by the place

Where he grabbed me

And I just sort of glanced at it

Like a spot in a museum

Or some sort of historical site

I’d get those bumps along my skin

But I’d keep walking

And when I’d get home

I’d break something

A plate

A bowl

Something

And then I’d just go about my evening
Like everything was okay

Because to me, it was

I wasn’t in a hospital

On life support

I wasn’t permanently scarred

Or injured

I was someone

Something happened to

And I thought

I’m okay

I survived

And a lot of people survive things

And then get on with it, don’t they?

But I kept a knife in my purse

All the same

Because it just made me feel better

And it wasn’t a very big knife

Just something you would use

To cut up food with

Not a butter knife

Sharp
But not, like,

A cleaver or anything
Nothing crazy like that

And one night

I’m walking home

And there’s a man

Standing on the street

At the bus stop

And I thought to myself—

The bus just came

Five minutes ago

Did he miss it?

It seemed odd

That he would be just standing there

And he didn’t seem upset

The way someone would

If they missed the bus

And, I don’t know

I just thought it was odd

Very odd

And I walked by him

And he, uh

He flipped the collar up

On his coat

And, uh…

Well, I thought I kept walking

That’s how I remember it

I mean, that’s what I remember doing

But then, the next thing I know

I’m sitting at the bus stop

Sitting on the bench they have there, I mean

And he’s on the ground

Blood everywhere

And I’m holding my knife

And I can hear a siren

And I thought—

I guess I might not be okay

And it, you know

It had honestly

Never occurred to me

Until then

It really hadn’t

But, you know

Men

With coats like that

With the collars up

Standing at a bus stop

Not seeming to be

One way or the other, they just—

Well, they all sort of look the same

Don’t they?