You Could Look at Us

I told her if she takes her phone out

At Thanksgiving

I’m walking right out the door

She’s trying to say

It’s take photos

So I bought her a camera

The brand new one—the 2038

And I told her—

Because I knew

Where she was going with this

—I told her that she wasn’t allowed

To post any of the photos online

And that just started

World War IV

I said, ‘Mom, not everything needs

To go online’

It’s her generation

They’re all obsessed with it

You should see me at the nursing homes

Yanking the phones out of their hands

And trying to get them

To actually interact

With each other

It’s ridiculous

Danny feels the same way about it

Our entire childhood

She was on that phone

And if you have anything to say about it

She’ll tell you

That she was documenting her life with us

But if you go back

And you look at all the photos

There are very few of us

Without her big stupid face in it

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

She’s my mother

And I love her

But she’s a total egomaniac

Which is fine

I—I can live with that

I’m not the first woman

With a narcissist for a mother

And I’m not even saying

That being vain

And self-centered

Means you can’t have some redeeming qualities

As a, you know, as a mother

But for her to try and play it off

Like it was all about us

Is just infuriating

Especially after—

After years and years

Of us just sort of having to silently

Acquiesce to all her

Digital nonsense

We finally—finally—say—

‘Mom, put the damn phone down’

And she has the nerve

To act surprised

Like this hasn’t been bothering us

Forever

Like she never saw us

Roll our eyes

Or—

And yes—yes—I get that kids

Roll their eyes

I understand that

But—what do you think the impact is of—

She used to go on and on

You know, she was one of those mothers

Who loved to put on a show

About, you know, what a great mother

She was—

And her big thing

Was that we weren’t allowed

To go on social media

Forget that

We were all over

Social fucking media

I mean, is there really—

Is there really a—

So I asked her

If she could just—

For one day

Just spend time with us

Just us

Without having to—

Without having to, you know

Telegraph to the world

How happy her fucking kids are

When her kids

Are not

Fucking

Happy

But honestly

She’s going to give me

Such a hard time about this

Like, she’s going to spend

The entire holiday

Pouting

And I just—

She'll be staring at that damn phone

At nothing

Because after awhile

It's like--

What are you even staring at?

So we'll ask her

To just--stop

And she'll say--

I'm just looking at it

And we'll say--

You could look at us

I just wonder

If there’s more going on there

Because it—

It feels like a—a—

Like an addiction

Or a—a—

Personality—something

It just…

It feels like something

That’s been going on

For a really long time

And that’s—

That’s part of why I think

It’s probably not going away

Anytime

Soon