Buying Drinks for Stubborn Men

Gonna get him a bourbon

Gonna get him a bourbon

At the airport

And I’m not feeling

Ironic about it

Who the fuck

Who the fuck drinks bourbon

At an airport

Jesus Christ

He keeps saying

He’s not coming

To Seattle with me

Fine

Stay where you are

And see how that gets you off

It won’t

It won’t do a fucking thing

For you

But you--

You’re convinced

You’re sitting here convinced

That we’re not gonna mix business

And more business

And that there’s some

Illustrious morality

In waiting at a terminal

For a plane to arrive

And take you to three solid days

Of fucking on sandy beaches

Next to crabshacks

And surfer huts

I have no support

For your stubbornness

You can’t eat pride

And you can’t fuck dignity

I am sitting here

Offering you

A few hours

Of vampire darkness

And eternal
Medicinal

Power

There is a money grab going on

At the top of Manhattan

And you’re--

You

--Are going to the other side of the fucking country

Because you’re like
Those Northern civilians on the hill

During the Civil-fucking-War

Watching actual

Fucking

Soldiers

Fight

I spent all my good days

Buying drinks

For stubborn men

And all it got me

Was a spectator seat

At a few second-tier fights

Now I will get you as drunk

As you wanna get

But once you are

You have to make

Some hard choices

I don’t care about your--your--your--

Fucking

Drinking

Problem

I don’t care

About your drinking problem

I don’t care

About any of your problems

I care about a plane

On a tarmac

Taking you somewhere

That is not helpful to me

To me

Lock your fucking jaw in

Right next to your heels

But the bourbon

Is about to flow

And you are asking

To get a taste

Of what I keep

Behind the bar

So don’t look at me

Like it’s animal instinct talking

It is pure

Fucking

MONEY

Talking

Here

Buddy

It’s not dandelion wine

It’s straight up
And it’s aged

Now pull your fucking lip up

Clean your nose out

And rip that fucking plane ticket in half

Because we have places to be

Top of Manhattan

And a money grab

Means

There is money

To grab

So why are you sitting here

Twiddling your dick

Like a pocketwatch

I’ll get you your drink

And then you need to get me something

Then you need to show up

You need

To stop being stubborn

And start acting

Like a man

The only thing in your way

Is your pride

And if I have to take that away from you

To turn you into something useful

Then so fucking help me--

I’ll do it

And I’ll take a few other things

While I’m at it