Bigger Than the Life You Live

I went to see you

At the cemetery

And I sat down

On your stone

Told you I was getting high again

And I’m scared to be alone

Had a sip from a cup

Of Jerry’s lemonade

Watched the sunset over water towers

Dreaming I was sitting on a hill somewhere

California asking when I’m gonna come visit

Figuring out how to make myself over again

And you were always—

Bigger than the life I live

Better than the person I was last year

Broker than a joke

And happy like a fool

A fool without a view

And nothing much to do

But hang out

And figure out

What that’s all about

Took a job that I didn’t want

To try and pay the rent
Spent two paychecks on whiskey sodas

And packs of Lucky Strikes

I didn’t like being cooped up

With my mom’s best friend

Hearing stories about

How pretty she was

Got hung up in trenches
And found in a maze

I wasn’t crazy enough

To be your favorite

I wasn’t—

Bigger

Bigger than the life I live

Longer than my Daddy hung around

Broker than a joke

And funnier too

But not funnier than you

And you

You were always bigger than me

One day in bed

Someone handed me a smoke

And said ‘Tell me ‘bout him’

So I mentioned your name

And a few of your favorite movies

Said you looked like Mom

And you played guitar

And you deserved better

Than death by broken heart

I remember your legs

Hanging over the tub

The ink on the note

Still wet

Water on the floor

And your eyes wide open

Like you were wondering why

I wasn’t crying yet

You were bigger

Bigger than a person’s life oughta be

Bigger than the life you wanted for me

Bigger than the key that could set you free

And six months goes like whispering

Six months, seven months

Where you been?

Sitting on a stone

In a cemetery

Feeling like I’m

The guilty party

So smoke your cigarettes boys

And drink your lemonade

In case somebody hurts you

Bad enough one day

And I just wanna be—

Bigger

Bigger than songs you used to write

Faster than the cards you used to drive

And smarter than you were

When you were alive

Broker than a joke

You’ve heard a thousand times

Broker than a joke

You’ve heard a thousand times

Broker than a joke

You’ve heard a thousand times