What're You Gonna Do?

Lori?

Lori, it's Connie.

I just had a big fight with my daughter.

With Chrissy.

She's going over that boy's house
Says she's gonna get pregnant

Says she's gonna have five babies with him
Then marry him
As soon as he divorces his wife

Well, what COULD I do?

Stop her?

She's a grown woman
Just like I was when I was sixteen

It's not like I could tackle her
To the floor, Lori

A girl wants to date her principal
What're you gonna do?

You know what I mean?
What can you do?

Nothin'

At least she gets good grades
Straight-A student that one
Honor roll

It's because she loves going to school
At least now I know why

Not like my Johnny

Johnny hasn't been to school in two weeks
He's been walking around the house
Wearing a smock
Talking about becoming a hairdresser

Yeah, he does good work
You should come over
He'll fix your bangs

Just don't talk to him about school
He'll bite your head off

The other day he threw his clippers at me
Almost took my eye out

I should have punished him
But thirteen's a tough age
They're coming into their own

What're you gonna do, you know?

Drag him into school
So he can get his ass kicked
When he tries to give one of the football players
A cut and color?

I say, let your kids live their lives
That's the only way they learn

Now my husband, Walter
That's a different story

He told me yesterday he spent his entire paycheck
At the dog track betting on Loose Cannon

That's the name of the dog, Lori
Loose Cannon

I know, it's a cute name, isn't it?

I don't know how it got it, Lori
Maybe it has a bad temper

My father had a dog like that
Bit everybody
Should have put him down
But what're you gonna do, you know?

So now Walter's out of money for the week
And we're behind on the rent
It's a big mess

The man can't stop gambling
I wouldn't mind so much
If he were winning

It's not really the gambling I mind
It's the losing
I'm sick of the losing

But what am I gonna do?
Tell him to stop
It's what he enjoys doing

Some men enjoy fishing
Some men enjoy golf
He enjoys losing hard-earned money

What're you gonna do, Lori?

Nothin'

Can't do nothin'

I'll tell you one thing though
All this sure is hard to watch