Sweat and Tears

She exercises twice a day
Each time anticipating the release
Like a man must anticipate masturbating

She knows when she goes
She'll get on the bike
And soon no one will know
That she's letting it out

The sweat will erupt out of her
Like fire hydrant water
And she'll be able to let out
The other stuff

The other stuff is the reason
She comes here

She doesn't mind the two hours a day
It soaks up

Because it soaks up something else too

The aching body is worth it
When compared to the breaking point she reaches
When she tries telling herself
That she can skip the gym today

Soon she's looking at cupcakes
And degrading herself

Baking herself muffins
And derailing herself

Failing at failing to feel normal
Until she finally breaks down
And heads to the gym

And for this, she's rewarded

She's lauded
She's praised

For keeping her body
In such good shape

And nobody worries about the frame of mind it takes
To spend so much time isolated
Pushing your body until it almost breaks

After awhile she's cried out
And dried off
And off and running
Gunning home
So she can make
A protein shake
All insane thoughts of baking muffins
Stuffed away in some cupboard
With the mix

These are the only tricks she knows
And no one else knows that they're tricks

Mix the sweat with the tears
And the tears with the sweat

Dry them all off together
And no one knows one
From the other

Not even her