I Had a Dream That I Could Make Myself a Soaring Man

I had a dream
That I could
Make myself
A soaring man

In the dream I'm standing
Stock still
Somewhere
A field maybe?
Always a field, right?
Always a field in dreams

And suddenly
I can fly
And it doesn't surprise me

Rather, it's like
Oh yes, of course
I'm able to do this
And I always have been

It feels like the flipping of a pancake
Not simple, exactly
But sort of instinctual
And bravery is, of course, required

The feeling that you might fail
Needing to be acknowledged
And then set aside
As you grip the frying pan and--

Whoosh

Flight

And just like a perfect pancake
There is a moment
Of sheer disbelief
That this actually worked

Who knew you could do
This miraculous thing?

And can it be done again?

Of course it can

See how simple it is?

And once you've done it
You know how
And you'll know how forever
And then--

Then...

Then..................................................................................................................................................................................................you wake up

And suddenly
You can't remember
What it is you did

You sit in bed
And you bite your thumb
And you thrash and toss and turn
And think--No, no
I did it
I really did it
I made myself soar

How can I...?

How can I.........?

But then
Even the question
Disappears
And you go back to sleep
The unanswered alarm clock
Lulling you
Back to your tranquil
Limitations

But just for that moment
You were capable of something
More

You, you...why am I saying you?
I'm talking to you
Aren't I?

Talking about me?

Okay

So

Today

In the mail
I got a letter

A letter from you
And I thought
How lovely
Who sends letters anymore?

It would be creepy
If I wasn't so desperately eager
To have you love me

And I opened the letter
Lovely envelope by the way
A cream color
And the letter itself
Parchment
And beautiful ink
And your handwriting--

Goodness, your handwriting

The loops over the 'l's
And the tiniest dots ever for the 'i's
And your whimsical 'g's
Oh goodness, well--

In it
In the letter
You said--

'I love you'

And it was like...

Like I remembered how to fly again

The switch was flipped
The page was turned
The pancake was perfect!

And I was happy
And happiness wasn't something I had to find
I just had to remind myself
That it was already there
Waiting for me

I just needed somebody
To point it out
And say--

You silly man
Didn't you know?
Didn't you?

But I didn't

If, in a dream, all I have to do
Is wish to fly
And I can fly

Then, here, in real life
Holding the words of my one true love
What's there to stop me
From doing, well, anything really?

Honestly, my darling
Tell me

What could ever
Hold me down
Again?