Leaving Rhode Island: Seattle

                (A kitchen.  BETH sits at the table.  KATE has just finished bringing on a plate of burgers.)

KATE:  (Upon entering.)  Sooo…are you excited?

BETH:  I’m…God, I don’t know what I am.

KATE:  It’s like prison, huh?

BETH:  Prison?

KATE:  Like he’s being released from prison.

BETH:  He’s been living in Seattle, Kate.  It’s not exactly prison.

KATE:  Well, no, but—

BETH:  Some people would say it’s nicer than here.

KATE:  But he doesn’t have family there.  He doesn’t know anybody.

BETH:  It’s been five years.  He knows people there now.

KATE:  But it’s not the same.  They’re just—temporary people, you know?  They’ve just been—

BETH:  What?  Keeping him company?  Until all of a sudden, out of the blue, he can come home again?  This is so—I mean, there’s something really sadistic about this.

KATE:  I agree with you.  I completely agree with you.  Playing with people’s emotions like this—it’s sick.  I agree with you, Beth.  But you gotta be happy about what you can be happy about, and this is something to be happy about, right?

BETH:  Yeah.

KATE:  You know what you should do?  Renew your vows.  When he gets back?  Have a little ceremony.  You can do it at my house if you want.  I’ll make Rich fix up the yard.

BETH:  Do people talk about me?

                (A beat.)

KATE:  What do you mean?  Talk about what?

BETH:  About me.

KATE:  No, I know but—what would they talk about?

BETH:  About the fact that I didn’t go with him—John—when he left.

KATE:  Well, I mean, you had the house.  You couldn’t just leave the house.

BETH:  It’s been five years.  We could have sold it.

KATE:  The market was—I mean, they picked the worst time—the state did—to go throwing home-owners out of the state.  Most of the goners—

BETH:  Please don’t call them that.

KATE:  I’m sorry, I was just watching the news and—

BETH:  Exiles.  They’re exiles.

KATE:  Right—I was just saying that—and some of them call themselves gone—I mean—nevermind—Look, you couldn’t leave.  That’s all there is to it.  Nobody’s talking about why you stayed here.  A lot of people stayed when their—whoever—when they left.

BETH:  But some people left with them.

KATE:  And some people didn’t.  Besides, you love this house.  What if you had sold it and then a year later they told you that the two of you could come back?  And now, see, it’s a good thing you didn’t move out there with him, because—

BETH:  Because why?  Because then we’d have to move back here and start all over?

KATE:  Yes!

BETH:  …Or we could have just stayed out there.

                (A beat.)

KATE:  Well, yeah, I guess.

                (A beat.)

The point is, nobody’s talking.  Nobody’s saying anything.  You have your—it’s your business.  You and John’s.  Nobody else’s.

BETH:  I’m just surprised people don’t think it’s strange.

KATE:  So what if they do?  And it’s not strange.  It’s not like you’re the first couple to do long distance.

BETH:  Voluntarily.

KATE:  What?

BETH:  I mean, we’re doing it voluntarily.  If you think about it—

KATE:  Beth, I don’t understand what’s going on here.

                (A beat.)

BETH:  John isn’t coming back, Kate.

                (A beat.)

KATE:  What?

BETH:  He’s not coming back.

KATE:  But—

BETH:  He’s happy out there.  In Seattle.  And I’m happy here.  And there’s no reason for him to come back here or for me to go out there.  There never was.

KATE:  What are you talking about?  You guys were crazy about each other.

BETH:  Isn’t it sad that two married people who don’t hate each other have such an easy time pretending to be in love?

KATE:  What?

BETH:  --When really it’s just…something else?  Indifference.  Boredom.  I mean, it was never anything that was going to bring us to a divorce.  We didn’t fight.  We didn’t do anything to hurt each other.  But we weren’t really in love, Kate.  We were just…co-existing with each other, I guess.

KATE:  You never said—

BETH:  I’m not sure I knew.  Not until I got that letter saying he could come back.  Honestly, all these years, I’ve been…so happy.  And I didn’t want to admit it.  Isn’t that funny?  I didn’t want to admit that I was happy without my husband here, but the truth is—I was.  I am.  And when I admitted it to John he said he felt the same way.  He’s happy without me too.  And if they hadn’t made him leave the state, we probably would have died married to each other all the while never owning up to the fact that we were just a few notches above miserable.

KATE:  Is that why he moved so far away?

BETH:  Well, maybe subconsciously.  That was where he found a job.  But I guess he could have held out a little longer—lived in a motel on the state line the way some of the other people who were exiled did.  Instead he took the Seattle job, and…I mean, I haven’t seen him in five years, Kate.  Do you realize that?  Five years.  He’s a stranger to me now.  I don’t even have pictures of him in the house.

KATE:  So…what now?  Are you going to separate or--?

BETH:  We don’t see the point.  A long distance marriage is one thing, but a long distance divorce would be hell.  And like I said, we don’t hate each other, we’re just not in love.  I don’t mind being legally tied to John—there are worse people I could be tied to.  I think we’re just going to leave things the way they are.  Like I said, I’m happy.

KATE:  He’s not even going to come back to get his things?

BETH:  I offered to ship him whatever he wanted, but he said I could just keep it all, or sell it.  He didn’t seem too concerned.

KATE:  This is…I’m…I’m a little surprised, Beth.  Shocked.  I guess I would say I’m shocked.

BETH:  I know this must be hard for you.

KATE:  No, I mean, if it’s not hard for you, why would it be hard for me?

BETH:  Well, because you and he were having an affair for all those years.

                (A beat.)

I really hope you don’t try and deny it.  This doesn’t have to be awkward, but if you try lying about it, I’ll probably get angry.  Furious, probably.  Rage-filled.

KATE:  How long have you known?

BETH:  When haven’t I known?

KATE:  Does Rich—

BETH:  I don’t know.  He’s your husband.  You’d have to ask him.

KATE:  So John told you.

BETH:  Well, I told him I knew.  He didn’t deny it.  And it wasn’t awkward.  Just like this isn’t awkward because you’re being honest.

KATE:  I feel very awkward, Beth.

BETH:  Well, the point is, I don’t, and that’s all that matters.

KATE:  Do you want me to apologize?

BETH:  You don’t have to.  Finding out another woman slept with the husband you aren’t in love with is like finding out somebody stole a car you never drove.  You’re upset on principle, but it’s hard to muster up any real indignation.

KATE:  I’m still very sorry.

BETH:  How strange.

KATE:  That I’m sorry?

BETH:  That all these years you were probably more devastated about him leaving than I was.

                (A beat.)

KATE:  I wanted them to pick me too.  To make me leave too.  That way I could go with him.  I could say I was going somewhere else, and then I could move to Seattle, and how would anybody know?  Rich wouldn’t follow me there.  He doesn’t love me anymore than you love John.  But when I didn’t get picked, I couldn’t…

BETH:  You needed the push.

KATE:  Yes.

BETH:  I understand, Kate.

KATE:  I was so happy when I found out he could come back.

BETH:  Kate, if you want to go, go.  That makes more sense than getting excited about the prospect of rekindling an extra-marital affair.

KATE:  How can you tell me to do that?  You, of all people?

BETH:  Because when you’re happy—when you’re really happy—it’s hard not to want it for everybody else too.

                (A beat.)

KATE:  I don’t suppose you find my husband attractive?

BETH:  Would you be offended if I said ‘No?’

                (They laugh.)

KATE:  I have to admit, I’m a little terrified at the idea of starting over.

BETH:  Oh honey, aren’t we all?

                (Lights.)