Leaving Rhode Island: Tuscany

You meet a man in Tuscany
What are you doing in Tuscany?
You don't have the slightest idea

You had a cute little apartment in Providence
Then you get a letter one day
That removes you from your cute little apartment
And your cute little life
Which involves the apartment
And a job at a nearby bookstore
That was bound to go out of business one of these years
And a guinea pig because--well, because cats make you a cat lady
So--guinea pigs--are the new cats, I guess

Then you get the letter
And you have to...I don't know
Figure something out?

So you say Tuscany, because...

Because as long as your entire, small-but-respectable life
Is going to be sent spinning down the drain
You may as well embrace the, you know, fantasy of it all
And by fantasy, I mean, the sheer insanity of it--all

So you--get on a plane
You get a ticket first, of course
To Tuscany
Because in your head, you're Frances-whatever her name is--Mayes?
In that book--about Tuscany
That they made into the really bad Diane Lane movie
And...in movies, things just...work out

Even in bad movies
Especially in bad movies
In bad movies, you get on a plane
You fly somewhere
You have no money?--so what?
You have no plan?--so what?
You know nothing about Tuscany
Other than that it's supposed to be Heaven on Earth

It'll be fine, right?

So you get on a plane

And you go to Tuscany
And it is an adventure
Just not the kind you thought you'd...

But you do meet a man
Shortly after finding a small apartment
--Yes, they have small apartments in Tuscany
And they also have bookstores
And you brought your guinea pig with you
So, before you know it, you're pretty much exactly where you were before
Except now you can say 'I live in Tuscany'
And that makes everybody jealous
And, just so you know, there is nothing lonelier in this world
Than being the object of jealously
When the thing making everybody else jealous
Isn't doing anything for you at all

But you do meet a man
In the bookstore
One day
Who is--the man, I mean, um, he's--nice
He's not some Italian prince, but he's...yeah, nice, you know?
And that's--nice

You like him, you do
You really like him

But you feel that your life...
Doesn't have that change in it
That sense that you've...left something behind
And moved onto something more exciting

And you think--Well, if all I did was move to another country
To create the exact same life I had in the first one
Why not just...but you can't go back
...Until you can

Because you get another letter
Saying--'It's fine.  Come back'

And the only argument you have to stay is--

Well, there's this nice man

But, like setting back a clock
You pack up the guinea pig
And close the door on another apartment
Leave another job
One you've had for five years
--Incidentally, your Italian was getting pretty darn good

You go home
You leave the nice man behind
You find another apartment two blocks from the one you left five years ago
And you get a job...at a book binding company
Close enough, right?

And why do you do it?

Because ultimately you...anybody, really--
Well, maybe I should talk for just anybody, but...

You're drawn to what you understand
You build something, you destroy it
You rebuild it all over again

But you paint it a different color
And tell yourself it's something it's not

Until somebody comes along
And a nice somebody
And starts chipping away at the paint

Then you panic, and...

...And you go home

But it was a nice little trip
Although, truth be told
It came and went so fast
It's almost like it never happened

It's almost like nothing changed
At all