Why Look Back?

I just thought

It was the craziest thing

Really

The craziest thing

That they would, uh,

Leave me

When I had shown

Such growth, you know?

Such growth

Going to a new place

And then one day

Waking up

And it feels--

It feels very much

Like waking up

I know some people--

I know there are people

Who would describe it

As a breakdown

And it could have been

It very well could have been

A breakdown

But after the breakdown

And that’s what I want to talk about

After the breakdown

I was more myself

Than I had been

Before the breakdown

Because before the breakdown

I was a person who was--

And I can see

Why they would feel like

The deal changed

Because we were both

All about a lifestyle

They liked money

I liked money

I got to a point

Where money

Didn’t matter to me anymore

And that made me feel like a better person

And I could see why

It put them in a position

They felt was unfair

Because it forced them acknowledge

That money was important to them

And that’s not something
A lot of people want to--

And they had moved

They had moved with me

They had come to Tennessee with me

And when I started really becoming

Who it was I needed to become

They suddenly had to be the person

Who was--

Like when you get married

And they say ‘For worse’

They were in a ‘For worse’ position

I get it

Not everybody feels comfortable

Being put in that position

I don’t blame them

For not wanting

To be in that position

But think about...I guess…

Think about loving someone

And thinking

That the way you love them

And the way they are

Is going to be the same

Forever and ever

But then that’s also on me

Because they’re frivolous

I chose to love

A frivolous person

I chose to live

A frivolous life

And then when I wanted

To stop being frivolous

It was like a religious awakening

It was like when you see the light

And you think

That everybody else

Is going to want

To see the same light

They looked at it

And said ‘No, thank you’

And they walked away

From all of it

And from me

I won’t say I wasn’t upset

Because I was upset

Because so much was changing

And I would have liked it

If that, uh, one thing

Didn’t change

And if that person

Who I loved

Was willing to say--

‘I’ll change with you’

But that didn’t happen

And I can’t look back on it

And try to understand why

Anything that happened happened

Why look back, right?

It’s just like--

Why look back?