What Happened to the Plan?

It's ninety-eight degrees
It's Arizona
It's the middle of nowhere
This was not the plan

The hookie thing
That hooks the boat
To the truck
Has somehow eroded
And fallen off
And now the boat
Is in the middle of the road

This was not the plan

The dogs have taken over the boat
Our dogs, Patti and Louise
Have climbed into the boat
They refuse to come out of it
Maybe they think they're on the ocean

Who knows?

All I know is
This was not the plan

I'm hot
I'm sweaty
I smell like braised lamb
And this was not the plan

Why
Why
Why

Why did we think
That driving to see your mom
In Nevada
Would be a fun thing to do?
When nothing indicated
That would be the case

Why are we visiting your mother?
When she hasn't called you
For three years
When she hates me
When she hates the dogs
When the dogs pass her photo
On the table in the hall
They crouch down
As if she's looking at them

I understand
That you want her
Back in your life
But why
Does she have to be
In my life?

She's not my mother
My mother is in a home
Back in San Diego
Where mothers belong
Once they've reached the point
Where they're throwing things at you
And calling your partner
A soulless whore

I didn't expect
To be driving to see a woman
Who keyed Italian cursewords
Into the side of my car

This was not the plan

The plan was to get married
The plan was to have children
The plan was to be happy

The plan was not to have dogs
And dress them up
And throw birthday parties for them
And pretend that's normal

The plan was not to wait to get married
The plan was not to say we don't believe in marriage
When one of us CLEARLY does believe in marriage
And here's a hint

I SUBSCRIBE TO BRIDE MAGAZINE!

The plan was not to invite negativity
Bitterness and Depravity
Back INTO our lives
When it's hard enough
As it is
To keep the good stuff around

The plan was not to buy a boat
I didn't want a boat
You don't even want a boat
You just wanted to know
You COULD buy a boat

Then once you got one
You wanted to connect to your mom
And show your mom your boat
As if it's some sort of accomplishment
As if it's a sign that you're doing well
As if it'll make up for the fact
That you can't bring her a grandchild

THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN!

. . . . .

It's hot
I'm hot
I'm angry
The dogs are on the deck of the boat
And they're looking down on us
As if we're drowning
In some vast ocean

An ocean of sand
An ocean of heat
An ocean of sharks
And lost people
And failure
And loneliness

And who knows?

Maybe we are