The Least Amount of Damage You Could Do in the Role

Kendall, you seem to be a little confused

About how you wound up

With your role

You got that role

Because we decided

We, meaning, the Artistic Team

Meaning myself

And Mr. Burke the Shop Teacher

Who builds the sets

That this particular role

Offers you few opportunities

To destroy the production

It doesn’t involve speaking

Excessive movement

Depth

Poise

Presence

Or anything that could be considered

Skill

Giving you this role

Was a little bit

Like putting a kitten

In a box filled with pillows

This way, you can go on looking adorable

And not injure yourself

Or fall off a high surface

Or get eaten by larger actors—animals—oh whatever

Same difference

The fact that you think

You should have gotten a better role

Not only seems laughable

But somewhat ungrateful

Kendall, that would be like the last person off the Titanic

Complaining that she didn’t get to finish her dessert

Consider yourself lucky

You SURVIVED, Kendall

Many did not

All right, well, not MANY

But some

Some didn’t survive

That sister of yours

Who has all the dramatic flair

Of a pine cone

She was left at the bottom of the theatrical ocean

So to speak

And you were given

The opportunity

To float

So float, Kendall

And float with pride

It’s true you won’t be doing much

But you’d be surprised

How many people in theater

Have made a career for themselves

Doing even less