You Can't Do It Twice

You can run around these streets

Like a maniac with a mohawk

You can jump rope with six-year-olds

And make yourself late for work

You can make a total fool out of yourself

In front of total strangers

The only thing is

You can't do it twice

As you go further in life, kid

The regrets peel off you

Like sunburnt skin

Suddenly there's a brand new you

And all that brand new you regrets

Are the possibilities you sulked at

Not the ones you seized

I don't regret that mohawk

Or getting fired from that lousy job

Or the fact that a bunch of Norwegian tourists

Saw my penis in Times Square

If you can laugh at it

You can forgive yourself for it

But it's hard to laugh

When you remember yourself

Sitting at home

With bad tv

And frozen pizza

So, pardon my language

Go fuck the world

I realize that's not something

They'd put in a fortune cookie

But if you're still hungry enough for the fortune cookie

The meal must've been shit anyway

So fuck the world

Fuck it hard

Fuck it long

Fuck it twice

And don't call it the next day

Because you can't do it twice

You're going to have a good mind

For too short a time

A good body for even less time than that

And the spirit and spit to do something with it

For about five seconds

So swear, sing, screw

Screw it all

If it's bad, you'll get over it

And if it's good, you never will

So load up on the good stuff

Because, kid

When you get older

Memories are the only drugs you can take

That don't make you look like

The old guy at the bar

Telling some young kid

That he shouldn't debate

Going into the men's room

With that girl that's making eyes at him

He should just do it

And do it well, kid

Because the old creep at the bar

With the half-empty glass

May not be your first choice

For advice

But he's smarter than a fortune cookie

So believe him

Believe me

Do it up

You can't do it twice