The Lighting Designer's Lament

An actor has just returned to the stage

After climbing Mount Everest

While on Mount Everest

A woman climbing behind him

Went into labor

And the actor delivered the baby

Brought it to the top

Of the mountain
And held it high

Above his head

While proclaiming that he had conquered

Life and nature

All in one fell swoop

When he came down from the mountain

He traveled to the Middle East

Where the actor proceeded

To bring peace to all the warring factions

Of the region

And made them agree

To continue on in this way

From now until the end of time

From there, he traveled to a hospital

Where they were doing research

On all different kinds of diseases

And ailments

And the actor found a way

To cure every single one of them

Guaranteeing humanity

Freedom from terminal sickness

And despair

The actor spent the next few years

Writing the Great American novel

Uniting citizens in tyrannical countries

So that they could demand democracy

And restoring the Sistine Chapel

So that it looked as good as new

The actor invented a new religion

That brought all the people in the world

Together at last

In a way that wasn’t off-putting

Or exclusionary

The actor helped do away

With societal constructs

And prejudices

Hatred and discrimination

Cruelty and dispassion

There was no more starvation

Because the actor found a way

To bring water to places

Where there was nothing but drought

The actor helped reverse the effects

Of global warming

By convincing even the most hard-hearted

Of skeptics

That environmental change was necessary

The planet bloomed once more

Creatures on the verge of extinction

Began to thrive again

And rainforests sprung up

In places that had seemed devoid of life

And lusciousness

Aliens landed on earth
And the actor communicated with them

And negotiated an agreement

Wherein they would take some of us

To every corner of the Universe

So that we could appreciate

The grandeur and greatness

Of life and time

Death was no longer

On anyone’s mind

Or suffering

The actor helped everyone

Reach a higher consciousness

And soon we were all made

Of music and poetry

Instead of just skin

And organs

Then, when that was all done

The actor returned to the stage

To act in a play

And when he did

He made his very first entrance

And wouldn’t you know it

The actor still couldn’t

Find his light