Ferris Bueller and the Breakfast Club

You’re all just going to sit here?

Just because the principal

Told you to?

What kind of characters

Are you?

You’re supposed to be teenagers

In a movie

A MOVIE

I guess if you were tv kids

Then I could understand

Sticking around here

Just to save money

On multiple sets

But this is a MOVIE

And you want to spend all of it

In DETENTION

SATURDAY detention?

TALKING to each other?

. . . . . 

TALKING to each other?
Getting to KNOW each other?

What’s there to know?
You’re teenagers

Within the first twenty minutes

Of this movie

You all should have busted out of here

And had your bumbling principal

Chasing you all over town

And there should have been something

Involving an art heist

Or a diamond robbery

Or some idiotic thieves

Maybe a trip to the zoo

I don’t know

But anything would be better than--

Do you have any idea

How BORING this movie

Is going to be?

Are there going to be flashbacks

Or anything?

Are you guys going to have a dance sequence

Set to--

Okay, you’ve gone of those?

All right, that’s good

That’s SOMETHING at least

But I mean, still--

Where’s the parade?
Where’s the hijinks?
Where’s destroying your best friend’s dad’s car?

These are BASIC plot points

And all you want to give me is

Cookie cutter character development

Why would you go to the trouble

Of putting Molly Ringwald

And Judd Nelson

In the same movie

If you weren’t going to give me

An 80’s teenage rom-com?

Do you have any idea

How funny those two are?

I mean, they’re not

They’re not funny at all

They’re actually very dour people

But, I mean, ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL?

He’s hilari--Okay, he’s not very funny either

Ally--No, no, you know what?

I’m talking through this now

And I’m realizing that a talk-y

Introspective

Melodramatic fishbowl movie

Is exactly what you all

Should be doing

So…

...Carry on?

I guess?

Just, uh, you know

Talk about how your parents

And how they hit you

Or don’t talk to you

Or how you disappoint them

Or whatever

That’s all way too womp womp for me

But if you all want to come visit my movie

We’re going to do this thing

Where we bust somebody out of school

By pretending to be--

It’s very funny

Really hits you right in the funny bone

Which I think we could all use

Right about now

Not that you all aren’t useful, but--

Anyway, I’m going to take

The rest of the day off

But keep up the good work

I hope you--

Okay, Molly’s crying

I’d better go

Good luck!