The Day You Weren’t You

 The day you weren’t you

I noticed

And said something

And you snapped at me

And I didn’t say anything

For the rest of the day

The next day

You woke up
And you were you again

I didn’t mention it

But you told me

That you were out of sorts

And I was glad to hear it

But you didn’t say

Where you went

When you weren’t you

You kissed me

On the cheek

And went to to work

And I got the kids ready

And I walked them to the bus

And our daughter told me

That she was scared

Because yesterday

You weren’t you

I thought about lying to her

And telling her

That she was imagining it

But I decided not to

And I told her

That yes

You weren’t you yesterday

But that you were you today

And that seemed

To make her feel better

Even though it still left me feeling

Discomfited

Our daughter got on the bus

And she waved good-bye

And I went back home

And signed into a meeting

And drank my coffee

And wondered

Where my love had gone

For a day

You came home

You were still you

You made dinner

It was delicious

The children took baths

We put them to bed

I read them a story

You kissed their heads

We went to bed

You wanted to make love

I said I wasn’t feeling well

You got out of bed

Made me tea

Came back

Kissed me on the head

And went to sleep

I waited to hear you snore

And then I got up

And went outside

In the backyard

There’s a spot

Where the grass

Never grows

And if you stand

On that spot

You can feel a charge

Come through you

That feels as though

It’s placing you

Somewhere else

I stand on it

And get goosebumps

You stood on it once

And said

You felt nauseous

Our daughter refuses

To stand on it

Because she’s smarter

Than both of us

And our son

Puts one toe on it

And begins to cry

I looked up

At the bedroom window

Where I half-expected

To see you standing there

Not as you

But as the you

That was you

Yesterday

But nothing was there

None of my nightmares

Were willing

To come to me

At the moment

When I would be

Most ready for them

A bit of music

Comes into the yard

From a car

Down the street

With its windows open

Who could be out this late?
Or is it not all that late?

I rub my arms

To warm them up

But I won’t go inside

I wanted to stand out

In the cold

Until I couldn’t take it

Anymore