Dennis in Providence

They tell you that you're landing in Providence
When you're actually landing in Warwick

From there, you can get a hotel room
Where you can watch tv
Go swimming in a hotel pool
Order room service
Or be brave and hop on the highway

See if you can find your way to Providence

There's a sign that says 'Welcome to Rhode Island'

And it's a Tuesday

You've landed here on a Tuesday

And in other places in the world
There are dynamic things happening

There is excitement
And as Tennessee's Tom would say--

Fuck, what did he say?

Oh well, he said lots of things

All very poetic

You're on a plane to Providence

You're not in Providence yet
But you're from Providence

You have Providence in your veins
Pushing out the blood

The two cannot coexist

One is life
One is a Tuesday night

And there are riots in Pakistan
And theater in New York
And a solar eclipse in Taiwan

Or there aren't

There isn't

There wouldn't be

It's a Tuesday

In Barcelona there are students
On a senior trip
And one of the students is missing
And his name is me

Dennis has disappeared

And the only one who knows is my friend Brenna
And she won't tell
Because I told her I'd come back for her
Because Barcelona fucking sucked

I mean, I guess it didn't, but--

I missed home

No, I did not miss Providence

Or maybe I did

I go back and forth--bashing it and loving it

I have an abusive relationship with my spot on the map

Up until this trip, I dreamed of escaping

I dreamed of a country
With never-ending buffet restaurants
Midnight showings of independent films
A burger joint where they'll cut up a pineapple in front of you
And slam one of the citrus slices
Right on the patty

Right in front of your eyes

I thought this place existed

And I would go home on the bus from school
Because my mother won't let me take Driver's Ed
Because I can't drive
Because her insurance rates would skyrocket
Because I'm going to school in Boston anyway
Why do I need to learn to drive

I would go home on the bus
And I would look out at the state passing by
The streets and the avenues
And the houses that looked like prisons
Because people lived behind those houses
People who don't know about the other world
The world with the pineapple patties
And the all-night buffets

And I would think

I'm getting out of here

I'm not staying

I am going to escape

And I did

I did

I signed up for the senior class trip to Spain
Chaperoned by Mr. Bob
He actually lets us call him Mr. Bob
How cool is that?

And I got on a flight
And I flew to Barcelona
And I got off the plane

And I threw up

I wanted to go back

So I managed to talk Brenna into lending me her dad's credit card
So I could buy a ticket home

I could have just asked my Mom to let me go home early
But she would have hung up on me

She doesn't go to much trouble
Where I'm concerned

I knew as soon as I stepped off the plane
That everything I wanted
Was a fantasy

I made up a place that couldn't exist
So that I had a reason to hate the place I'm from

But it doesn't make me love where I'm from
It just makes me wonder where the hell I'm supposed to go?

If where I am isn't the problem
Then...is it me?

Am I the problem?

And what do I do about that?

I can't move away from me

I guess I just have to go back to Providence

I mean, I'm not very old
And there's still college ahead of me
And I might love Boston

Maybe they have midnight indie flicks there on a Tuesday or something

It just sucks because I thought I had it figured out

I really did

I'm landing in Providence on a Tuesday

And somewhere in the world
Someone's living the life I want to live

But how do I find them?

How do I know where they are?