Marty Mishlin's Acting for the Soaps

All right everyone

Let's save all that chatty energy
For the stage

Where we will channel it
Into theatrical magic

I am Marty Mishlin
And this is Acting...for the Soaps

Now, as someone who has been on over three episodes
Of General Hospital

I can think of no one better
To guide you through the intense
Emotional process
That comes from playing one of those tortured souls
Known as a soap opera character

Let's begin with a scenario

Your father has just confessed to you
That your mother, who you thought was dead
Only adopted you after she stole you
From your biological mother
Who happens to be both the mayor of Port Charles
And a serial killer

What do you do?

How do you express all the emotions
That are coursing your veins?

Speaking of courses
I'll be offering my 'Vowels--Don't Let Them Get U You Down' class
This spring
So sign up now
Because it usually gets cancelled
When nobody shows interest

That's why you all walk around
Sounding like Marlon Brando
After his tongue turned to cheesecake

BACK TO THE SCENE!

Now, you could think about your mother
But which one?

The dead one who died
In a freak explosion at the power plant
That may or may not have been
Because of your biological mother
Who used to be a terrorist in the 70's
Before she met her twin sister
And figured out what it was to love?

There's an easier way, class

Watch me

. . . . .

See what I did there?

I lifted up my chin
I let my lip quiver
I had my eyes say 'You bitch, you killed Spencer, my niece who may or may not have been my boyfriend!'

That's how you win a Daytime Emmy, kids.

Susan Lucci used to beg me for acting tips
And do you know what I'd say to her?

'You're not on General Hospital, you're on that trash heap known as All My Children. Get out of my shared dressing room!'

Ohhh...

Do you see what I did there?

I expressed rage at Susan Lucci
Whom I've never actually met

I needed a scenario
To teach you all about soap opera rage

I pulled back the corners of my lips
I squinted my eyes
I reared back my hand
As if to say--I will smack you down, you raven-haired vixen!

That children, is what the soaps call for

Passion
Intensity
And above all--

Eyebrows

Lots of eyebrows

All right, pair up

I want you to practice mirroring each other
By saying--

'I'm having your baby and it might be an alien.'

Let the acting begin