The Whale

Personally, I like it in here

I do

It's cozy

I mean, it's not ideal

You know, it's...dank

But then again, so are basement apartments most of the time

So really, who's to say?

And what's to say?

And what's to say about who's to say?

Whom? Whose? Who?

Who knows?

I like it in here

The belly of the whale

I feel like Ahab!

The whale ate Ahab, right?

I don't know, I never read the book

I just figured it would end with Ahab being eaten

Because when you screw around with whales they eat you

I think we've all learned that lesson, haven't we?

But I like to look on the bright side

Granted, there isn't really a bright side inside of a whale

But there are perks

For one thing, we're not going to starve

There's plenty of fish

I wish he'd swallow a few lobsters

Liven things up a little

But beggars can't be choosers

Because when you're a beggar you smell

And people who smell can't be picky

That's what that saying means

Did you notice a nook over there?

I think that's his kidney enclave or something

I think I'm going to make that my reading nook

Then, if he swallows a copy of Moby Dick, I can read it

Wouldn't that be ironic?

Irony is when whales swallow books around whales

In case anyone ever asks you

Hmm?

A breakfast nook

Oh, I don't know

That really doesn't look like a breakfast nook to me

I mean, the lighting is all wrong

For a breakfast nook

Maybe a smoking section, but definitely not a breakfast nook

Who would want to eat breakfast there?

That's where the stomach bile pours down like a waterfall

I mean, it's soothing if you forget that it's churned up body waste

Hey, has anybody seen Carl?

I haven't seen him since the boat went under, but I could have sworn I heard him yelling something about his leg as we were going past the molars

Really, where?

The bladder?

That's not really--uh--okay.

Why doesn't he just come stay here with us?

Mad? Why is he mad?

Hey, I never said I wanted to steer the ship!

Besides, who can tell the difference between a whale and a small, tropical island at night?

It's not like I didn't apologize to him

He just didn't hear me because he was too busy moaning about getting his leg chewed off! If he doesn't want to listen...

Well, fine--let him just sit in whale piss for the rest of his life, see if I care

Geez, some people

. . . . .

So...

You wanna play a game or something?

You know, 'cause...

We have some time to kill