If She Shows Up

If she shows up
I'll show her
My ripped up
Plane ticket

My empty suitcases
My empty planner
The empty spot in my wallet
Where my passport used to be

I'll sit and sing her comfort
Let her know
That for once
She met a man
Who isn't going to go

I'll tell her that halfway through writing my good-byes
I decided that my writer's block
Was my mind's way of telling me
That good-bye was the last thing
I wanted to write

So I called home and told them
That home had shifted

That it had morphed
Into this beautiful girl
That was going to show up
At any minute
And sit and watch
The waves with me

She thinks she's coming
To get a farewell
And instead I'm going to take her arms
And wrap them around me
So she can feel
How steady they are

That's if she shows up

See, a part of me
Thinks maybe
She decided not to come
Around the same time
I decided to stay

A part of me thinks
She decided to erase me
Rather than replace me
Or chase me back
To wherever I was from

A part of me thinks
That a part of me knows
That she isn't going to come

And if she doesn't come
Do I go find her?

Or do I take it as another sign
That I need to redesign my romantic notions
And head back to the Sunday afternoon movie
That's become my life

What do I do
If she doesn't show up?

I guess I'll just sit

Because eventually
She'll wonder what happened to me

She'll ask around
E-mail a few people
Find out
I never made it home

And a part of her
Will know
To come here

And I'll be sitting
Watching the waves
Then waving at her
And saying--

'What took you so long?'