Saturday, May 11, 2013

Six Years



                                                               (ERIN and JENNA at the bar.)

                                                                                ERIN
                                                How drunk do you think we’re going to be by the time that comet gets here?

                                                                                JENNA
                                                Shitfaced, I hope.

                                                                                ERIN
People are going to stay sober for this.  Can you believe that?  The world is ending, and people are going to be stone-cold sober for the whole thing.  What the hell is that about?
               
                                JENNA
They’re nuts.

                                ERIN
They’re friggin’ nuts.

                                JENNA
Jesus.

                                ERIN
Goddamn right.

                (A beat.)

                                JENNA
You call Markie?

                                ERIN
He doesn’t want to hear from me.

                                JENNA
What do you mean he doesn’t want to hear from you?  You’re his mother.

                                ERIN
Linda told me not to call.  He’s all upset about this—

                                JENNA
She didn’t tell him, did she?

                                ERIN
She tells him everything.  She’s very open with the kid.

                                JENNA
You don’t tell a six-year-old the world’s gonna explode.  What the hell’s wrong with her?

                                ERIN
They were saying on the news that—They were giving tips.  About how to tell kids.  She saw it on the news and she did it the way they said.

                                JENNA
What?  How to break it to them gently?  ‘Hey Kid, the world’s about to end.  You wanna talk about it?  Here.  Let’s use puppets.’  There’s no good way to do it.  Tell the kid to go play in his room and when it happens, at least he won’t spend his last few minutes on earth having a panic attack.

                                ERIN
It’s her choice.  She’s his—

                                JENNA
She’s his aunt.  You’re his mother.

                                ERIN
She’s the one who watches him so…

                                JENNA
Screw her.  And why doesn’t she want you calling?

                                ERIN
I guess as soon as she told him what was going to happen, he took all his pillows into his closet, and he was hiding under them like it was some kind of fort.  I guess he thinks he’s protecting himself.

                                JENNA
See?  Look what she did.

                                ERIN
He won’t come out.  Not even to answer the phone, so…

                                JENNA
I gotcha.

                (A beat.)

He’s kind of an asshole, huh?

                                ERIN
What do you mean?

                                JENNA
He builds this fort and he doesn’t invite anybody else to come stay in it with him?  Not Linda.  Not you—

                                ERIN
Jenna, the fort’s pointless.

                                JENNA
I know that, but he doesn’t know that.  Why doesn’t he offer some shelter to the rest of us?  I mean, he’s six, what good is the fort going to do if everybody else in the world blows up?

                                ERIN
He’s just a kid.  Kids don’t think through things.

                                JENNA
Yeah, well.

                (Pause.)

Billy asked me today if I’m sad we don’t have a kid.  I said ‘What good would a kid be now?’  He’s so stupid sometimes.

                                ERIN
You think I was stupid for having Markie?

                                JENNA
Of course you were stupid.  You were too damn young.

                                ERIN
                                                You didn’t say that then.

                                                                                JENNA
You don’t tell somebody the truth when you know damn well they’re going to go ahead and do exactly what they want to do anyway.  You’re my best friend, you were pregnant—

                                ERIN
You said ‘Have the kid.’

                                JENNA
And you were going to have that kid no matter what.  What else was I supposed to say?  But I was honest about you letting Linda watch him.  I told you once she started, she’d never let him go.  That was a huge mistake you made.

                                ERIN
Who else was I going ask?  My mother?  When she had Jimmy dealing drugs right in the living room?  Right on the front porch sometimes?

                                JENNA
I told you I would have taken him.

                                ERIN
You never said that.
                               
                                JENNA
Yes, I did, Erin.  Yes, I sure as hell, did.

                                ERIN
You weren’t any better off then I was back then.

                                JENNA
What are you talking about?

                                ERIN
You were living with your grandfather in his spare room.  Where were you going to put a baby?

                                JENNA
That spare room was huge!  You think I couldn’t have fit a crib in there?  I had a sunroom and everything!

                                ERIN
You lived three blocks away from me!  Why was I going to give you my baby if you were that close?

                                JENNA
So you could come visit it!

                                ERIN
I didn’t want to visit it, Jenna!  That was the point!  I didn’t want Markie anywhere near me.  I was all screwed up.  God, were you even around back then?  Don’t you remember how bad I was?

                                JENNA
You were fine.

                                                                                ERIN
                                                No, I wasn’t.

                                                                                JENNA
Everything always seems so bad when you’re six years out from it.  At the time, it wasn’t that bad.  You were young.  You were—what?—twenty?  Twenty-two?

                                ERIN
I was still an adult.

                                JENNA
Twenty-two’s not an adult.  Nobody’s an adult in their twenties.  That’s why I couldn’t believe you were having the kid.  You were supposed to be having fun.

                                ERIN
So you wanted me to give you the kid?  Like you were any more grown up than I was.

                                JENNA
I was thirty!  I was ready to take care of a kid.  You weren’t.

                                ERIN
So you weren’t falling down drunk on the front porch every night next to me, huh?

                                JENNA
You always try to make it like I was as bad as you.

                                ERIN
You just said I wasn’t even all that bad.

                                JENNA
You weren’t, but you always try to make it like you were, and you try to make it like I was too, and that everything was my fault.

                                ERIN
I never said that.

                                JENNA
You never say anything.  You just put everything you mean into the nicest kind of words so I can never call you on anything.  But I know what you’re getting at, Erin, I always know.

                                ERIN
I don’t blame you for anything, all right?  I only blame myself.

                                JENNA
You should be blaming Steve for taking off on you.

                                ERIN
He didn’t know.

                (A beat.)

                                JENNA
What do you mean he didn’t know?  Of course he knew.  What did he think was going to happen?  You were going to have the kid and then it was magically going to take care of itself?

                                ERIN
Steve didn’t know I got pregnant.

                (A beat.)

                                JENNA
Are you kidding me?

                                ERIN
I called him this morning to tell him.  Six years later.  I said, ‘Hey Steve, remember six years ago when I said “Good luck in Seattle?”  I should have said, “You’re going to be a father.”’

                                JENNA
And what did he say?

                                ERIN
I don’t know.  It went to voicemail.  That was the message I left him.  Hopefully he didn’t change his number.

                                JENNA
You never told him?

                                ERIN
He would have wanted to get married, and get a house, and it all would have been great until one of us screwed up and then everything would have come tumbling down.  I know it.  I knew it then, and I know it now.  I made the right decision.

                                JENNA
But if he doesn’t get the message in time, he’s never going to get to meet his kid.

                                ERIN
Yeah, and I’m not all that proud about it, but there’s not much I can do now.

                (Pause.)

                                JENNA
You wouldn’t have been such a bad mother, you know.  Maybe it would have been tough for a few years while you were learning how to do it, but it would have ended up being all right.

                                ERIN
So why didn’t you have kids?

                (A beat.)

                                JENNA
You know why.

                                ERIN
Because you were a mess like me?  You haven’t been a mess for awhile now, Jenna.  Tonight excluded.  You could have had one.

                                JENNA
Yeah, well, there’s that and then there’s…I can’t.

                                ERIN
What?

                                JENNA
Have kids.  I can’t have ‘em.

                                ERIN
Why not?

                                JENNA
We tried.  Billy and me.  For a few years.  Nothing.

                (Pause.)

                                ERIN
I’m sorry.

                                JENNA
It would have been nice to watch Markie, but…you know, I probably would have done the same as Linda.  I probably wouldn’t have wanted to give him back either.

                                ERIN
I bet you would have done just as good as she did.

                                JENNA
Better than Linda?  Are you crazy?  With the teddy bear cookie jars and the floors you can eat off of?

                                ERIN
Yeah, she was born to be a mother.  I don’t know who she learned it from.  Our mother was…I guess she got lucky.

                                JENNA
Good to know somebody did.

                (A beat.

You should go see him.

                                ERIN
Who?

                                JENNA
Markie.  The thing’s not here yet.  You can make it over there in time.  Maybe it won’t even come until tomorrow like they said it might.  You can have breakfast with the kid and everything.

                                ERIN
While he sits in the closet?

                                JENNA
So get in there with him.

                                ERIN
Jenna—

                                JENNA
You don’t have to have some big tearful reunion.  Just say you wanted to stop by.  What does he call you anyway?

                                ERIN
Erin.  He calls me Erin.

                                JENNA
All right, so have Linda say ‘Erin wanted to stop by.’  It’s not like it’s unusual, right?  You’ve gone over there before.

                                ERIN
What good is it going to do him?

                                JENNA
It’s not about doing him any good.  It’s about how it’s going to do you some good.  The kid’s dealing with this the way he’s gotta deal with it, the way that makes him feel good, you gotta do the same thing.  We all have to do what we have to do to get ourselves through this.

                                ERIN
Through this into what?  This is it, Jenna.

                                JENNA
Maybe, maybe not.  But you really want to spend your last day on Earth sitting in a bar with me doing what we’ve always done?  Feeling sorry for ourselves?  Bitching about our lives?  Thinking about the people we’d rather be with.

                                ERIN
You regret all this?  All these years?  All the things we did?

                                JENNA
Regret’s like saying you know things would’ve been better if you did something different.  I don’t know that.  Nobody knows that.  I only know what I did and how it turned out, and yeah, maybe this and maybe that.  And maybe if I could have had kids, I’d be like Linda right now, living in a nice neighborhood, raising a nice kid, feeling like I did pretty good for myself.  Who knows?

                (A beat.)

                                ERIN
You know why Linda doesn’t have her own kids?

                                JENNA
Why?

                                ERIN
She told me Markie’s so perfect, what were the odds she was going to have a kid as good as him?  I couldn’t tell if that was her trying to hurt me or tell me I did something good.

                                JENNA
Erin?

                                ERIN
Yeah?

                                JENNA
Go see your kid.

                (A beat.)

                                ERIN
Okay.

                (She gets up.)

Can’t screw a kid up too much in one night, right?

                                JENNA
Not unless you’re my father.

                                ERIN
You going home to Billy?

                                JENNA
I don’t know.  Maybe I’ll stay here a little longer.  Close the bar down one last time.

                                ERIN
So this might be the last time I see you then, huh?

                                JENNA
Yeah, this might be it.  I mean, I’ll call you when I see one of the Four Horsemen, but before then, I doubt I’ll have the time.  I want to make sure I go home and clean my bathroom before I die.  Something about dying with a messy bathroom just doesn’t seem right to me.

                (ERIN laughs.)

                                ERIN
You know, I’m sorry that—

                                JENNA
Don’t go saying sorry now.  We’ll be here all night.  Just go.  I got more drinking to do.

                                                                (A beat.)

                                ERIN
You know I would have done a lot of things different the past six years, but not this—you and me.  I wouldn’t have done this any different.

                                JENNA
Me either.  Give Markie a hug for me, all right?

                                ERIN
You got it.

                (ERIN leaves.  A moment.)

Lights

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