It's Not About Your Daughter

Can I just say this?

I fucking love it

When they make it about their daughters

About the fact

That they have daughters

Like, what the fuck

Does that have to do with anything?

You’ve got a daughter

I had a mother

My father had a sister

Like, who the fuck cares?

What does that have to do

With forcing yourself on someone?

They go—

I have a daughter

So this is appalling to me

So you’re saying it wouldn’t be appalling to you

If you didn’t have a daughter?

Or that you have some deeper understanding of it

Because you have a daughter?

Or some kind of

Deeper sympathy?

Fuck you 

No, you don’t

No

You

Don’t

It's not about your daughter

My rape

Is not about

Whether or not

You have a fucking daughter 

If you have never been raped

You have no understanding

Of what it is

To be raped

Period

Full stop on that one

You having a daughter

Won’t help you understand it

You having a daughter

Who’s been raped

Won’t help you understand it

And I don’t wish—

I don’t wish what I went through

On anybody

But these people

Who are jockeying to be

The biggest rape victim supporter

And they start out with—

‘I have two daughters and I can’t imagine—’

What about just saying

You can’t imagine

Somebody taking your power

Away from you

Covering your mouth

Slapping you

And telling you

That if you scream

They’re going to cut your throat

They don’t want to talk about any of that stuff

And—and I’m going to get in trouble for saying this

Unless you—You’re not using our names, right?

Okay, you’re not using our names

So I’m just going to say it then

I don’t think some of these men

Are uncomfortable with the details

Of what happened to us

I think they’re ashamed

Because secretly

They’ve thought

About doing

The exact same thing

They have fantasized

About taking control from a woman

You see these guys online

They’re vocalizing it

They’re coming right out

And saying how much

They’d like to hold a woman down

And show her who’s boss

That’s coming from a place

Deep inside them

And it doesn’t get erased

Because some guy

Has a daughter

Or was raised by a single mom

Or grew up with three sisters

That doesn’t mean a fucking thing

Because you think every mother

Teaches her son

The correct way to treat women?

You daughters are some magical creature

That just give you insight

And empathy

And take away

Whatever that thing is in men

That make them want to destroy shit?

Men are violent

They are prone to violence

And when you try to suppress that—

Suppress it but not address it?

That’s just going to go somewhere else

That’s just going to pick up a gun

And shoot up a school

Because it doesn’t go away

Every man who ever raped a woman

Had a mother

And it didn’t mean a fucking thing

You don’t get empathy

By accident

It’s something

You have to drill into people

Because we went thousands of years

Without it

That’s a whole other tangent, but uh—

I just had to talk about that

Because every time I hear it

The line about the daughters, dude

It just—

It just makes me

Want to hurt somebody

And after everything I said

I know, I—

But I hear that bullshit

And fuck

It gets me really fucking mad