Your Last Name

I don’t have a problem

With your last name

Like, however you get in the door

It’s like--

Good for you

I’m not judging you for it

We all gotta do

What we gotta do

But you’re up there, like--

Oh, I’m up here

Because of my talent

When it’s like--

No, you’re not

You’re not

You’re up there

Because of your name

Because you walk into an audition

And they look at your name

And they’re like--

Oh, he’s so-and-so’s son

Oh, maybe if we put him in the show

So-and-so will come see it

And then we’ll have so-and-so at our theater

And, like, our donors and our board members

Can take pictures with them

And oh my god

Won’t that be--

I mean, just admit it

Admit that if you really wanted to get anything

Because of your talent

You’d change your fucking name

You’d get a new last name

And you’d never bring up

Who your Dad is

And then you’d see

How talented you are

Because I’m not saying

You’re not talented

I’m definitely not saying that

Nobody is saying that

What I’m saying is--

There are people

Much more talented than you

Much more talented

Than all of us

But they don’t have--

Your last name

There are people

Who walk into an audition room

Every day

With nothing but their talent

And there are people

With last names like yours

Who decide they’d rather not

You know, publicize that

Because they want to walk into those rooms

With nothing but their talent

So feel bad

Or don’t feel bad

But don’t pretend

That you’re bigger

Than your name

It’s nothing to be
Ashamed of

But it’s not something

You can just

Deny

Look…

We all have to do

What we have to do

I…

I’ve done stuff

Everybody--

So it’s not about, you know

Me respecting you

Or not respecting you

It’s about the faces

Of all those people

Who would love to say

That they would never

Give somebody something

Because of who their dad is

Who justify it

By saying

You deserve it

They’re the people

I’m pissed at

They’re the people

Who should, you know

Just once

Have somebody like you

Walk in front of them

And say--

Sorry, but--

We know who your Dad is, but--

No

But they don’t

They won’t

They never do

And you know that

I know you know that

And if you’re okay with it, then--

Great

But don’t act like

You don’t know

Don’t act like you’re the only one

Who doesn’t