Two Sirens, Then Three

I heard two sirens

Then three

The blanket

I pulled off the bed

And brought to the couch

Felt too light on me

I needed something

Holding me down

Making me feel fortified

My husband had once

Suggested
Getting me one of those

Weighted blankets

But I laughed at the idea

Who would want to feel

Compressed?

The blue and red

Go by the windows

That look onto the street

We never had sirens

In this neighborhood before

But after the storm

They started

And never stopped

Being so close

To the shore

Always kept property values high

And then in a snap

We were living on

Unlivable land

My daughter called

And left messages

Until my phone died

And I couldn’t recharge it

Because the electricity had been out

For days, then weeks

I knew she’d try to get to me

But with the streets closed door

And guards posted around the edge

There was no way

She was getting in

You could leave whenever you wanted

But you wouldn’t get back in

And this house

My house

I paid for this house

My husband and I bought this house

And now I was expected

To walk away from it

I never saw myself

As one of those crazy people

Who refuses to leave

When it’s time to go

But there are people

Who don’t put any stock

In where they live

They can pack a small bag

And hop on a plane

And start over somewhere near

And they’re brave enough

Or crazy enough

To not have it bother them

I’ve never been one of those people

I like to nest

And settle

And create a real space

To hold myself in

My husband and I traveled

We went on vacations

We saw the world

More of the world than most

But we always

Came back home

How can I reconcile

Winding up

As one of those people

Who lives in their daughter’s basement

And tries to stay out of her way?

A wonderful in-law apartment

Where I’ll stay

Until I become too difficult

To watch over

And then before you know it

I’ll be in assisted living

I’d rather be the old coot

Who won’t leave

The house that now feels like

It’s painted by flashing lights

I’ve learned that two sirens

Means a quick problem

That will taken care of

Within an hour

Three sirens means

That I’ll smoke pretty soon

Or hear more noises

Noises loud enough

To make their way

Past the walls
And the doors

And the things we’re told

Keep us safe

From forces

That have no respect

For the invisible boundaries

We put around ourselves

I hear two sirens

There’s a pause

But then there’s the third

And that means

I should be in the downstairs bathroom

Where there aren’t any windows

And I should pack a bag

And I should find a way

To get in touch with my daughter

And tell her

That I’m alive

And can she come get me

And I should

And I should

And I should

But I won’t

I won’t

I’ll listen for the last siren

And hope there’s never

A fourth