Blorta's Thanksgiving

Characters

Bogg

Meep

Blorta

                (The cave.)

Bogg:  Blorta, I am pleased to see you were not eaten by Five Heads on the way here.

Blorta:  I was nearly eaten by Five Heads, but he fell into the Ice Pit near Big Tree.  I expect him to wake up a few hundred years from now, and perhaps then he’ll be dealt with by someone more powerful than us.

Meep:  Or he’ll eat them.  It’s not our concern.  How’s the new husband?

Blorta:  He sends his regards.  He would have come to visit as well, but somebody has to make sure the forest-wolves don’t take over our cave.

Bogg:  It’s true.  Once they arrive, there’s no getting rid of them.  We adopted several before they all got eaten by that green thing that lives down by the lake.

Meep:  Blorta, you’re too skinny.  Have some horn meat?

Blorta:  You found meat in a horn, Mother?

Meep:  I lit the horn on fire, it turned into glop, I put it in a bowl, and now I’m calling it meat.  That’s called creativity, Blorta.

Bogg:  Never let it be said that your mother is not creative.  The other day she treated a rash on my leg with spider venom.

Blorta:  Did it work?

Bogg:  Well, as you can see, I have no more rash.

Blorta:  But you don’t have a leg either.

Meep:  But he doesn’t have a rash, and that’s the important thing.

Bogg:  Your mother made me this nifty cane.  I hit people with it all the time.  It’s a lot of fun.

Meep:  He’s already given three people concussions.  At this rate, we’ll never be invited to Fire Night.

Blorta:  Is there a reason you wanted me to come home today?

Meep:  I was preparing dinner.

Blorta:  You do that every day.

Bogg:  I wanted to show you my cane.

Blorta:  Is that all?

Bogg and Meep:  Wellllllll…

Blorta:  Is something wrong?

Bogg:  Not exactly.

Meep:  We’re flinging ourselves into the Ice Pit.

Blorta:  What?!?!

Bogg:  Jumping.  We’re jumping into the Ice Pit.

Blorta:  That’s still bad.

Bogg:  I thought maybe you objected to the word ‘flinging.’  It is such an odd word.

Blorta:  Why would you do such a thing?

Meep:  Blorta, you are very lucky.  All your life, you’ve watched the people of our tribe be eaten by Little Hands-Big Teeth and Wings-with-Teeth and Teeth-with-Horns.  You’ve never had to see people grow old, because everyone you know was brutally murdered by reptiles.

Bogg:  Lucky, lucky girl.

Meep:  So we never had to tell you about the custom as it relates to those over a certain age.

Blorta:  What age?

Bogg:  Our age.

Meep:  We’re actually a few years past the traditional Age of Expulsion.

Bogg:  We were hoping nobody would notice, because I’m still so youthful and your mother has a very impressive chest that’s remained noticeably perky over the years, but alas, the tribal leaders came yesterday to inform us of our fate.

Blorta:  And now you have to throw—

Meep:  Fling.

Bogg:  Jump.

Blorta:  Into the Ice Pit?

Meep:  That’s how the tribe handles those who have outgrown their usefulness.

Blorta:  But you haven’t outgrown your usefulness!  You made meat out of a horn.  It tastes terrible, but I suppose that counts for something.

Meep:  Bogg!  You said it was delicious.

Bogg:  I didn’t want you to take away my cane.

Blorta:  Yes!  And the cane!  You made Father a cane.  And you cured his rash.  And I’m assuming you were the one to cut off his leg.

Bogg:  She did.

Meep:  He cried so loudly.  I was embarrassed for him.

Blorta:  My meaning is that you should not be cast off just because you are of a certain age.

Meep:  But that is how things are, Blorta.  Would you have us stick around until we are—what?  Sixty?  Or longer?  By then, your father will be nothing but a head.

Bogg:  And a cane.

Blorta:  So I am to say good-bye to both of you?

Bogg:  That is why we called you home.

Blorta:  I think my heart shall break.

Meep:  It is not a piece of sadness we give you, my beautiful Blorta.  We have had such a wonderful life.  True, it has been born out of hardship, and yes, there has been much suffering and disease—

Bogg:  --And dismemberment.

Meep:  And most of our friends and family were eaten right in front of our eyes, but how lucky of us to have seen so many days and nights.

Bogg:  And how lucky to have had you.  And to live long enough to raise you.  And watch you fall in love!—And get married to a man that most would say is almost suitable—and has most of his teeth.

Meep:  A girl who can walk home alone past a five-headed monster and not be afraid.  I am filled with pride for you, my Blorta.  You are made of fire.

Blorta:  But I got my fire from you.  What shall I do once that fire has been extinguished?

Meep:  You will keep it with you.  A fire does not die out so long as you feed it.

Bogg:  Though you should never try to eat it.  That’s how I lost part of my mouth arm.

Blorta:  They call it a tongue now, Father.

Bogg:  Geez, I remember when we used to say ‘mouth arm.’

Meep:  One day you will have your own child, and you will give them your fire.  Then it will be their job to keep it burning.

Bogg:  And not eat it.

Meep:  That is life, Blorta.  That is how we survive.  None of us are here forever even if we don’t jump into the Ice Pit.  In all my years, I’ve learned two things—Marry a man wild animals don’t like the smell of—

Bogg:  True.

Meep:  --And forget that you are promised only what you have lived so far, and nothing after it.

Blorta:  I am sad that Flerg will not get to say his farewells to you.

Bogg:  That is fine.  We do not like Flerg very much.

Blorta:  You don’t?

Bogg:  We like that you like him, but he is from another tribe, and he pronounces his ‘R’s in a way that is displeasing to the ear.

Blorta:  And will you not be sad to never see my children?

Meep:  Truthfully, Blorta, though we would surely love them if we saw them, we are not great admirers of children.

Bogg:  We enjoyed you most of the time, but only when you weren’t crying or speaking.

Meep:  You were a wonderful sleeper.

Bogg:  Oh yes.  I could watch you sleep all night.

Blorta:  May I accompany you to the Ice Pit?

Meep:  Why do you think we asked you here?

Bogg:  You’re the one who has to push us.

Blorta:  I couldn’t do such a thing!

Meep:  If you don’t, then Krorg will, and his hands are very greasy.

Bogg:  Please, Blorta, I do not want my last thought to be ‘Why didn’t Krorg wipe his hands before he pushed me to my death.’

Blorta:  Fine.  But I do it with great hesitation.

Meep:  That’s my girl.  Let us eat one last horrible meal together before we hike to the Pit.

Bogg:  I shall miss the taste of terrible food.

Meep:  All food is terrible.

Bogg:  Blorta, maybe when you are older, food will taste good.

Blorta:  Father, you are a dreamer.  You always have been.  Food that tastes good.  Medicine that makes people feel better.  A box where you can watch people act out stories whenever you wish.

Bogg:  But only if they act out all the stories at once, not one story a week.  That would be very pointless.

Blorta:  I shall miss your dreams.

Bogg:  My greatest dream pales in comparison to you, my Blorta.  Even I couldn’t dream something so wonderful.  And here you are.  And for that, I am grateful.

Meep:  I am as well.

Blorta:  And I am grateful for both of you.  Isn’t it funny I’ve gone my whole life and never said that?  I wish we had a day where all we did was say things like that to each other.

Meep:  I hope we never have a day like that.

Blorta:  Why not, Mother?

Meep:  Because, dear Blorta, every day should be that day.

                (End of Play.)