The Dog Has to Go

Listen, I've been cool with this
For a really long time

A really, really long time

But I just can't handle it anymore

The dog has to go

Now, I'm not saying throw him out on the street
Although there are some nice streets
That I'm sure he wouldn't mind being thrown out on

After all, it's not like he keeps himself clean
Despite the fact that God gave him a tongue
And the ability to lick his own stomach

I'll give him a few days to find a new place
A new owner, maybe somebody without a sense of smell
Since that dog smells like what I hacked up yesterday

Oh sure, I'm not the cleanest cat in the world
And yes, I've been known to scratch the furniture
And yes, I can be a little moody

But at least I don't eat the garbage
Right out of the trash can

Does he not understand the discarding process?
Does he think we just throw it outside
Because we don't have room for it in here anymore?

I gave this a shot, but now I've had enough

Last week, he...oh god, this is...he sniffed me

No, I'm not telling you where

Let's just say I'm going to need serious therapy to get over it

In the meantime, the dog has to go

And next time I'd appreciate it if you check with me
Before you go bringing anymore animals into the house