What the Baby Wants

The baby wants to be born in the house, Jon

It wants to be born here
And it wants me to handle it
By myself

So no, we won't be needing a doctor
Or a midwife
Or you, even

We won't really be needing you, Jon

Although we certainly appreciate
Everything you've done

But the baby says you don't want it

It says it can hear your thoughts
When you're sleeping next to me
And you let your hand
Rest on my stomach

The baby says we, it and I
Are a team
And that a team must not be compromised
By outside parties

After all, that's what you are

The father?

Jon, anyone can be a father
It takes so little
But to do what I'm doing
To bring this baby into the world--

I AM NOT CRAZY!

It says you'll try to hurt it
Us, the both of us

It says you'll take it away from me
Because you think I've lost it

You think I'm not all there anymore, don't you, Jon?

It wants me to wait until you fall asleep
And slip your hand over my stomach
And then it wants me to bite down on that hand
Until I taste blood

It wants me to push you out of the bed
And then jump up and down on you
Until I feel my feet hit the floor

But I still love you, Jon

I do

But you're not what the baby wants

So instead, I have to ask you to leave
And if you won't leave, well then...

I'll have to handle you as well