Excuse me?
Excuse me, sir
This must be some sort of mistake
I must have my own lifeboat
I simply couldn't ride in a boat with others
What would people think?
No, no, no need to make them get out of that boat
After all, they're already seated and sweating together
Besides, I'd prefer a lifeboat with some sort of protective covering
Perhaps a cabin with a shower and a comfortable chair?
Why, who knows how long it will take
For us to be rescued?
I would not want to be sitting out in some tiny vessel
Breathing in all this cold air
While the--
DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU FILTHY MAN!
Who was that?
Levi Strauss?
What an awful name
Is he some sort of animal trainer?
Well the next time he comes near me
Please shoot him immediately
I can't risk my delicate skin being compromised
By the oils of impoverished hands
Does that band know any other song?
Perhaps something with a bit more...pep?
Just because the ship is going down
Does not mean we cannot keep smiles on our faces
When they beheaded me
I was smiling
Of course that is because
I overheard a joke
The executioner was telling the priest
I never heard the ending though
How sad
While we are on the subject of complaints
I must say that the assortment of desserts in your diningroom
Was far from adequate
I do not eat as much as I used to
Not since I died anyway
But I still enjoy seeing a nice assortment
Of pastries put out in front of me
Muffins, and danishes, and...uh...perhaps...uh...cake...?
Well, I am ready to board my lifeboat
My dogs will need their own lifeboat
Which will need to be connected to mine
Perhaps by some sort of cushioned tunnel
I will also need a boat for my servants
But you can just put them all together
After all, there are only ninety-six of them
One boat should do it
You know, you think that after you're executed by your own people
Everything after that will seem easy
But life continues to be difficult
Ah well, hold my head please
While I step down into the boat
I'm ready to be rescued
No comments:
Post a Comment