Martin in the Elevator

Hello, hello

Eighth floor?

New floor, huh?

Not your usual floor?

Aren't you Jenny from Floor Five?

No?

Oh well--never mind then.

Eighth, it is

Better off you're not Jenny
Then you'd be a tramp

Asked her out for dinner
She said 'No'
You know why?

Because she's a tramp

Tramps don't eat
That's what you find

They want to get right to the board games
If you catch my drift

Scrabble, Monopoly, Shoots and Ladders

Dirty, that girl is

Just dirty

You're sort of a prettier version of her
Except for that right eye of yours

Other than that you'd beat her in a pageant hands down

Plus I bet you don't go playing Trivial Pursuit
With every guy on Floor Five, now do you?

Or I suppose it would be Floor Eight, in your case and--

Ah well, here we are

No, no, I'm going back down

I'm on my break

Riding the elevator relaxes me

. . . . .

Oh going down?

Careful saying that to a fellow on his break!

Hahaha that's me, I'm on break

And I was referring to making love

Love in an elevator, as they say

They being Aerosmith

Do you suppose they ever really did make love in an elevator?

Risky, that is

More so than love in a car or love in a plane bathroom or even love in a department store changing room

I could get risky, I suppose

But not without a few drinks

Of course, I've had a few drinks now

So I suppose now would be the time to get risky

If one wanted to get...risky

One being a woman

I enjoy women

One woman

One woman at a time, please

Hahaha

Unless of course you're a little more adventurous

Which I suppose you would be

Because we'd be making love in a--

Oh, here we are

Well, uh, enjoy the, uh...lobby!

. . . . .

Going up, huh?

Excellent

We can do that

We can certainly do that

Press a button

Up you go

Lovely perfume you're wearing

Smells a bit like an apple tree

Not the tree itself

Not the bark

But the actual, you know, apples
On the tree

Love a good apple

They're out of season, I think

So I guess that means your price has gone up!

Hahaha

That wasn't a joke meant to indicate that you were a prostitute

If that was what you were thinking

I would never call anybody a prostitute unless I had good reason

Like Jenny from Floor Eight

She's a prostitute

Absolutely

You what?

Oh right, you're going to Floor Eight

Do you know Jenny?

Ohhh I see

I wasn't aware she was--

And you're her--

Ohhh

A little office place homosexual romance, huh?

Well, good for you two

That certainly explains why she rejected me a few months ago

Well, now I take back what I said about her being a whore

And a tramp

And a prostitute

And that also explains why you're wearing such ugly shoes!

Well, why should you have to wear nice shoes?

It's not like you're trying to impress a man

Or anybody for that matter really

You've got Old Jenny!

Not that's she old

More like Good Ole Jenny!

Without the Ole

Good Jenny, you should call her

She's just...a doll

Tell her I said 'Hello' will you?

Tell her Martin says he's happy she's a lesbian

I'm just thrilled about it!

Have a lovely day!

. . . . .

What floor, please?

'Right to the bottom,' you say?

Well, I think we both know where this is going...