If He Wasn't That Cute

If he wasn't that cute
Chris would find another guy
To make his profile photo

He'd keep him as a friend
An acquaintance

Someone to go to the club with
To stand next to
So that when guys eyes go right
They see dark, then light
And go 'Ohhh, he's cute--but ew, his friend.'

They'd end their nights
Under streetlights with him crying to Chris
That guys don't like him
And Chris would say
You'll meet somebody awesome
One day, you'll see

And that guy would be Chris
And Chris is, in this instance

But if he wasn't that cute
Things would be different

If he wasn't that cute
His Facebook Friends list would be lower
His text messages would come slower
His inbox would be lighter
And his memories of college all-nighters
Would be non-existent

His glowing personality
Would be seen as annoying, obnoxious, or just 'too much'

His sense of humor
Would be considered too brash

His affection would meet rejection
And any suggestion of an erection on his behalf
Would be met with a laugh or a scoff
Or a scowl

If he wasn't that cute
He wouldn't have gotten a second look from Chris
While sitting in that restaurant nook

Chris across the room
With two friends who'd survey the poor ugly guy
Sitting by the window
And say--

'Yeah, he's definitely gay,
But he's not that cute'

And that would be that

If he wasn't that cute
They wouldn't be the smiling couple
That you see out in the crowd

Loudly smiling
So everyone can hear

Cheering for each other
In statuses and tweets
And detailing how happy they are
And declaring they'd be that way
Regardless of appearance
But you know one day

The looks will fade
And Chris will take off
For a younger parade
Or maybe it'll be
The other way
Around

He's lucky he's that cute
They both are, for now

But the thing about luck is
It tends to run out