A Flea in Her Ear

The regime change happened
Right before the eleventh season started

We were going to be opening
With A Flea in Her Ear
And the day before rehearsal
We got the news

Beau was out
His ex-wife was in

She’d finally done it

Beth had finally managed
To take control

I guess technically it was all my fault

I was the Board Chairman at the time
In addition to being
The occasional actor
But I wasn’t very good at either

I can admit that now
The dead can’t lie to themselves
The way the living can

I thought Beau should be using me more
I thought I was a real asset to the company

But then the cast list for Flea was announced
And I wasn’t on it

I usually took most things in stride
Including the fact that the Artistic Director
Didn’t care that I was the Chairman of the Board
And that it might not be a good idea
To tick me off

I just figured I’d have to wait until Beau retired or died
Before I’d see any time onstage

Then one night, Beth came over my apartment
With a bottle of wine
And an idea
About how we could force Beau
Into retirement

Obviously we’d have to be sneaky about it
Because Beau had fired the last Board
That tried to get rid of him

But Beth had all sorts of interesting secrets about Beau
And she was sick of putting up with him
The same way the rest of us were

Well, most of us anyway…

It wasn’t the bloodbath that you’d imagine
Beth made me promise
That I’d get the Board to confirm her
As the new Artistic Director
If she could get rid of Beau
And I said ‘Yes’

She went into his office
A few minutes went by
I heard something get thrown through a window
Then Beau walked out of the office
Said good-bye to his secretary
And took off

Flea was in good enough shape when he left
So we let him keep his director’s credit
And for the most part
We didn’t touch it

It ended up being our most successful show
Up to that point

That should have been a sign
To all of us
That Beau wasn’t going to leave quietly
But I didn’t care

I had a lead in the next show

At the end of the day
Most people are just like actors

Give them what they want
Make them feel important
And they’ll do just about anything