It's Still Christmas, Tony Hooper

Hi, my name is Tony Hooper
And this is my report
About Christmas 2012 entitled--

"A Hard Year to Celebrate"

or

"It's Still Christmas, Dammit"

Please excuse my English

I guess I'm supposed to say 'Excuse my French'
But I know what 'Dammit' means
So it can't be in French

First of all, this has been a real tough year for a lot of people

Lots of fighting and bullying and name-calling
And that's just the elections!

(Harry!  Hit the drum!  Hit the drum, Harry!  Ugh, never mind)

But seriously, folks
Things seem pretty bad nowadays
And so a lot of people I know
Just aren't in the Christmas spirit

That's my first of all

Second of all, my friend Fat Pants said that he doesn't even want to celebrate Christmas this year
Because his dad doesn't have a job anymore
So he won't be getting as many presents as last year

Then my friend Tony Mars said his grandma is real sick
So he doesn't feel like celebrating

My friend Faith's parents are fighting for her custard
Right now her mom only gets half the custard
And her dad wants the other half
I don't know how much custard they're letting Faith have
But you'd think the grown-ups would learn to do what's best for the kid

Faith said, 'Why should we celebrate Christmas?  Christmas is for happy people.'

But I stood up and said 'That's not true at all!'

I probably should have waited until the math test was over
But some things are more important than fractions

I asked the teacher if I could take everyone on an impromptu field trip
And because our fifth grade teacher has been kind of sad
What with everything going on in the world
He said, 'Sure, why not?'

So I took the whole class to the library
And asked for a book about Christmas

I found what I was looking for in the first few pages:

A picture of the manger scene
With Jesus and Mary and the wise men
And that cow who always looks bored

'Listen everybody,' I said, 'I'm not much of a historian, and my parents only take me to church when the lottery's over twenty million and my mom's bought a box full of tickets, but I do know this:  This picture doesn't have a bunch of happy people in it.  These people aren't winners.  They're not cool.  They're poor and they're tired and they're stuck in some barn and now they have a baby to take care of and he's supposed to be God's kid but nobody really believes that except the three guys who brought gifts you can't even eat because they think some angel told them so andisitjustmeordoesthatcowlookreallybored?'

Sorry, sometimes I get distracted

'Christmas isn't about celebrating how rich you are or how everything's going great for you or how amazing the whole year's been.  Christmas is about looking around and saying "Things'll get better" or "At least I have what I have" or "This hay is actually sort of comfortable as long as you stack it right."  It's not about this year.  It's about next year.  About all the great things that could happen.  That's why, no matter what's going on in the world, you can always celebrate Christmas.  Because it's all about what's possible.'

When we got back to the classroom
To finish our math tests
My teacher called me up to the front of the room
And wrote an 'A' on my math test

'Mr. McStevens,' I said, 'I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but I'm pretty sure I didn't get an "A" on this test.'

My teacher looked around the room
To make sure nobody was listening
And then he said--

'The "A" is because you're awesome, Tony Hooper.  Merry Christmas'

And that's how I aced my fractions test
And if that isn't a Christmas miracle
I don't know what is