Strong

Someone asked me what I did today

I said I went to work

Got coffee with a friend

And cleaned my house

They called me strong

I guess I could have stayed in bed all day

And called in sick

Turned off my phone

Let dirt pile up forever

And then I’d be what?

I guess...not strong?

There were things I didn’t know

I had the option not to do

And there were things I had to do

No matter what

Bad luck doesn’t pick a time to strike

It doesn’t happen when we like

And if it does

And we go on

Then what?

I guess we’re strong

My friend had just turned thirty

When he got back on drugs again

I found out from a friend

That he passed on

He suffered and he struggled

And he made one last mistake

And now he’s gone

And was he strong?

What’s bigger in a person’s mind

The things you overcome

Or the one dumb thing that takes you down

Forever

Are you strong until the day you die

Or is it now and then

I just think about my friend

And was he strong?

I can’t cry but I would like to

And when I can

Who should I cry to

And does crying or not crying

Make me strong

Does grief count if you don’t show it

Am I really being stoic

Am I cold or just in shock

Or am I strong?

Years ago you suffered some great loss

And made the bed

And brushed and flossed

You cooked your meals

You cleaned your house

You did it all

And did it all along

And even though you did all that

Nobody thought to tip a hat

And nobody would ever

Call you strong

Grief was just a luxury

That those who found themselves in need

Could only seem to manage

With a bit of endless poetry

Or a song

So you made your lunch

And dug your grave

You held the door

And said your prayers

And someone someday might just

Call you strong

Someone gets the help they need

And someone suffers silently

And some would say

That both of them

Are strong

The sky falls down

The oceans rise

You still wake up
And read your mail

The worse things get

The smallest task

Seems strong

And all the while

You smile at strangers

Bail on friends

Take out the trash

Don’t do the dishes

Fold the clothes

Check in on family

Skip a party

Eat too much

Or starve yourself

Do any of these things

Make you feel less

Strong?

Someone asked me what I did today

I said ‘Not much’

And walked away

And couldn’t help but think--

I don’t sound

Strong

I stared at a wall

For hours on end

Watched a film

Watched it again

And couldn’t tell
If I felt right or wrong

I don’t have words

For how I am

Except to say

‘Fine’ or ‘Okay’

All the rest

Sounds like too much

And not enough
I guess I'd say
That I'm getting along

But I'm alive
So yeah
It's fine
Just call me strong

And who has time

For all that stuff

I guess I do

But you--

I guess to hear it

You’d have to be

Strong

And why should you

Be strong for me

You might have

Your own tragedy

And how much strength

Can we carry along

It’s heavy when you need it light

It takes you right

Out of the fight

You think of real strength

You think--

I don’t belong

The truth is

You don’t know

How to be

Strong

No--

The truth is

You might not

Want to be

Strong

I've known some strong people
That's for sure
The sad thing is
I used to know more...

. . . . .

They asked me how I was today

I said ‘I’m going to be okay’
Because I got past yesterday

But now I'm thinking maybe I was wrong

They said I’m tough

I thought, Enough

But I said ‘Thanks’
And other stuff

I said too much

And went on far too long

I should have said

I’m glad

That someone

Thinks

I’m strong

But today I made my bed
I made some calls
I made some food
I didn't fight my appetite

I've been better
I've been great
I've been lost
I've lost weight

I made it past today
And lately
Days are long

And if I got this far
Who knows
I might be

Strong