You Only Get One Day in Florence

You only get one day in Florence

Now, you’re going to want more

You’re going to want more days in Florence
But you’re not going to get them

You should know that now

I’m always bringing people to Florence

And at the end of the day
Nobody wants to leave
And I have to—

Ugh

I have to beg them--

Ladies

Gentlemen
Please

We went over this

But it doesn’t matter

How much we go over it
They always want to stay
An extra day

And one time

I let them stay an extra day
The people who hired me?
And they never left

They’re still in Florence

Not that they care

They love it

They love it there
But keep that up
And where are you?

Pretty soon

All of Nebraska
Is living in Florence

And that’s not fair

To the Italians

And it’s not fair to me!

I can’t make a living

Bringing people to Italy
If they move there
After one trip

So I beg them to leave Florence

And they don’t want to
Because after one day
They fall in love

And I tell them

They’re not really in love
But you know what?

They are

They are in love

So I lie to them

And deny it
I tell them it’s all just
The Illusion of Italy

That’s what I call it

The Illusion of Italy

And they buy it…

…Most of the time

But it’s tough

It’s really tough

To be honest with you

I wouldn’t take them
To Florence at all
If I had my way

But then who would go?

Who would go to Italy

If they couldn’t see Florence?

Not me, that’s for sure

Italy without Florence?

I mean, geez

What’s the point?