And Then You Die of Spite

They tried to tell her

There was something wrong

With being mad

And I let her know—

Unequivocally

--That there is nothing wrong with it

People try to tell you

You can’t lead a happy life

If you’re mad all the time

Let me tell you something

I am mad—all the time

And I have a fantastic life

Because we are living

In a world

Full of idiots

And if you’re not mad about that

It’s because you’re either suppressing your anger

Or you’re one of the idiots
Everybody else

Is angry about

And if you’re suppressing anger

You’re going to die young
Of some lovely
But terrible
Disease

And you know how I want to die?

Of spite

When they find me in bed

All alone

Because I hate everyone

There will be a list next to my bed

Of all the people

I died mad at

Pages and pages and pages

All about the fools

I’ve had to suffer

In my life

And at my funeral—

I want those pages
And pages and pages

Read

Out loud

By small children

Really small

Just barely able to read

Just barely

Because I find that idea hysterical

It really tickles me

Because what is on those pages is filthy

Not sexual, mind you

Just filled with obscenities

Regarding the aforementioned fools

And their colleagues

And when I die

Of spite

Which, again

Is the only good way to die

I want to send those names

Out into the atmosphere
Into the minds of others
Or tied to balloons

So they can turn into acid rain

And spray every moron

I ever came in contact with

That’s what I’d like

Those are my wishes

So when she tried to tell me

That letting go of anger

Is a good thing

I had to remind her

That memories live in anger

Not happiness

You ever try to remember something

When you’re happy?

Think about how good your memory is

Right after sex

And I’m talking about good sex

Not the kind of sex

Most of you are having

After good sex

I’m lucky if I remember

What my birthday is

If you want to recall things correctly

You have to stay angry

Forgive but not forget?

Bullshit

That’s like saying—

I’ll throw some rocks in my pocket

And wade out into the lake

But I won’t drown

Trust me

You will drown

And you should too

Because you’re a moron

And you’ve probably made

A lot of wonderful people

Very angry

Don’t forgive

Don’t forget

And don’t let up

Then when you die

Of spite

You’ll find that the only people around you

Are the people you like

Which, again

Is why you’re probably

Going to die alone

Because that’s life, kid

That’s how it works

Now get the hell out of here

That’s all I wanted to say