Pigs in San Francisco

The Pigs took over

San Francisco

In the Spring

Of 1981

They arrived in style

With two parades

On separate days

And a commencement address

At a local high school auditorium

At night, you could find them

Around town

Chatting it up

With the Friscanatis

Discussing possible collaborations

On business deals

And art installations

Deep into the morning hours

They’d be trotting down the streets

Trying not to wake the city

With their singing

If you’ve never heard a pig sing

It’s pretty awful

But when they’re drunk

It has a certain charm

The Pigs immediately acquired residences

In the swankiest neighborhoods

All over the city

Some of the residents grumbled

About what happens

When Pigs move into a city

The rents go up

The older businesses are driven out

The gallery nights become every night

And the dive bars

Turn into meditation centers

It’s not that people dislike Pigs
It’s just that the Pigs

Are culturally assertive

And no city is a City with Pigs

Without fail

They all become

Pig Cities

The Pigs do their best to appear

As though they’re embarrassed

Over having people fawn

And favor them

But the truth is--

They live for it

They’re Pigs

They love a good party

An overpriced drink

And a day on the grass

Taking photos

And playing frisbee

The People of San Francisco

Know how to get rid of them

But...should they want to?

They’re not actually...

...Harming anyone

Depending on your definition of ‘harm’

On fridges all over the city

Ten numbers are magnetized

Waiting to be dialed

The phone number

Of an alliance

Determined to prevent Pigs

From changing their destiny

The Citizens would rather not dial those numbers

And get the Pigs in any kind of trouble

But wine tastings are now everywhere

Author readings

Author signings

Workshops on how to be an creative non-fiction author
Whatever the heck that is

It’s hard to walk down a city block

And not see a flyer for an event

You wouldn’t feel comfortable attending

What happened to staying in, think the Residents

What happened to cozy nights at home?
What happened to not stumbling into

Venue after venue

Talking and networking

And tasting

And schmoozing

And listening

And giving out business cards

And taking business cards

And arguing

And making up

And going home with someone

You just met?

What happened to being aware

That you were living in a great city

Without constantly feeling like

You needed to participate in its greatness?

The Pigs took that option away

They came and created

And curated

And caused the social dynamic

To develop and evolve

And explode

And now there were no more cozy nights

Or subdued Sundays

Or board games with friends

On a Friday

When the workday was too long

To do anything

But recover from

And so the numbers are dialed

And it rings

And rings

And finally a voice picks up

‘Hello,’ it says, ‘This is the Farm’

And every party in the city

Unwittingly becomes

A farewell party