American Dream

He wouldn't leave her
Because she was such
A good
Actress

Beau, that's who I mean
The Artistic Director
The boss
The first one
The one who started all this

Who started the acting company

I met him when I was fifteen
And he was...

Older than fifteen

And we hit it off
Because male directors
Just love a young fresh girl
They can mold
And guide
And blah
Blah blah
Blah blah

Of course he has to screw her
To do it

That's the catch

I was in the second show he ever did
Me and my two sisters
And then after that
He asked me to join the acting company
But he didn't ask my sisters
And that really messed them up
But I didn't care
Because I was going to be an actress

A real actress

My mother wanted to kill me

Plus, Beau was seeing this girl
Another actress in the company
And she was pregnant

But did I care?

I was fifteen
I cared about--NOTHING

Do you understand that?

Nothing

Plus he was going to leave her
He was going to leave her
And take the baby
And me
And we were all going to go to New York
Where my sister was living
And we were going to hit it big

This was all during the second show

It's amazing how things change
From one show to the next...

When we started the next show
This Albee play
Ironically called--American Dream
Beau told me that--

No, he was not leaving the pregnant girl
In fact, he was marrying her
And did I know that I still had a lot of growing up to do?

No, I did not know that

In fact, I thought I was very mature

Because, you see
Anger makes you feel very grown-up
And rage makes you feel downright old
And I was about ten points past rage at that point

We were doing American Dream
In this converted warehouse
Lots of dust
Lots of wood
Lots of stuff that can catch fire

And it did

One night, it did
The whole place
Went up in smoke

Along with our costumes
Our set
And all the money
After the performance one night

I was helping out as stage manager
So I was the last to leave the building

This was after the 'You have some growing up to do' speech

I went home
Cried my eyes out
Fell asleep
And when I woke up
There were police

They put me away
My mother, my parents did

They actually put me away
And back then
Getting put away
Was not like getting put away today

You were actually put somewhere
Left there
Abandoned

And--and trust me on this
I wasn't crazy when they institutionalized me
But I sure as hell was afterwards

I died in that place

Someone left a knife
Out in the kitchen
Where I helped out sometime
And I just...

But that's not what you want to hear about
You want to hear about the acting company
About the theater

Well, I was only there for two shows
But I certainly think I left an impression
Even if I'm not the one
Who burned that old warehouse down

It certainly got the theater a lot of attention
And that's always good

What I'm proud of
Looking back
All these years later
Now that I'm dead

What I'm proud of is--

I was never cruel
I was never like Beau

I may have been crazy, who knows
But cruel?

No

Because, you see
A cruel person would have told Beau
That the baby wasn't his

But I wasn't cruel
Not even at fifteen

And how do I know the baby wasn't his?

Just because I'm dead
Doesn't mean I don't keep secrets
But here's a hint

Everybody knew

It's theater

Everybody knows everything

That's what makes it
Such a dangerous profession