The Hotel Prairie

Nothing to do in town tonight
Whatever town it is
That's out there

Town like this
There are usually two things to do
On a weeknight

Drink and drink heavily

You would be amazed
How many nights I spend
In towns just like this

And it makes you...

...Well...

It makes you feel like you've traveled back in time
To, like, a place and time where--
Life was oppressively boring
Not just boring
But, you know, in this--
Like someone holding a pillow over your face
And just holding it there
Until you give up
And die

I mean, it is dreary

And I don't mean that it's dreary to live here
With, you know, your families
Or your friends around you

But to visit?

Visiting is just--

I sit in a room
I open the blinds
And--

--And I'm not kidding about this--

I sit on the edge of my bed
And I watch the sunset
Because it seems poetic
It seems like, I don't know
The appropriate thing to do

I sit and I look at nature
Because that's what's out there--nature
This is the Hotel Prairie
This is silence and reverence
And vast stretches of land
With nothing
I mean, nothing

And I feel...

You know, my life fits in one small suitcase
I mean, I am a light, light traveler
I have mastered the art
Of living for a week
Out of a four-by-four box
That I carry around with me
And I can show up anywhere
Looking like a million bucks
Using nothing but the tools
I put inside that box

And part of me feels like a superhero
I mean, I feel like James Bond
Whipping out my little razor kit
And doing my hair
And putting on my tie
And schmoozing the people I need to schmooze
To do my job

But then there's another part of me...

That feels a little bit like Sandra Bullock in Gravity

I'm just...floating in space, you know?

I'm...a speck on this...vast plain
This prairie

Sometimes I'm sitting on the edge of my bed
In one of these motel rooms
And I close my eyes
And I pretend I'm a cowboy
Sitting in front of a fire
Eating out of a can
Planning to spend the night
Under the stars

And that's a romantic image
But it scared the shit out of me
The same as if I'd been drifting in space
Un-tethered, you know?

It's so lonely out here

And the sunsets were only making it worse
So I did away with it

Sometimes I turn on all the lights in the room
And I close the blinds
Occasionally I have to duct tape a blanket or a sheet
Over the windows
To really block out any natural light
And I sit on my bed
In my underwear
And I pretend I'm somewhere
Other than where I am

I pretend I'm in a box
In the middle of a busy, busy city
And that all around me
People are moving and traveling
And they don't really know that I'm here
But they don't need to
Because I know they're right outside
And that makes me feel less alone

It's crazy

I know, I know it's crazy, but--

It makes me feel better

It's what it takes
To make me forget
That right outside that window
Is just nothing

Just a place where a man
Can get lost
And never found

Just by thinking too hard
About where he is